Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In few cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough.

To get success in future there are many circumstances and exams children has to go through. But there are many things apart from it which they has to rely on . Children should be motivated by their parents and guardians and give them few tips how to achieve anything in their life. In many cultures they tend to believe that working hard is a key to success but there are many things they has to know the main thing is technology, it is increasing rapidly. There we can get how to learn smartly, achieve smartly . In school day's our teachers used to give tips how to learn smartly with understanding. Everything doesn't need hardwork to get success there are few which we need to understand and go through. There are advantages like getting something what we wish. For example am working at company as a medical coder, this job I achieved through alot of hardwork and dedication. This gives us an immense feeling and a strong confidence to keep a step towards dream. Without hardwork there is nothing to do . The another advantage is we will be facing different situations and overcome with fear we had inside. We will be strong enough to face any situation in life . We will be the independent one who knows everything how to deal with. The disadvantage is they will be physically and mentally get tired,if they overthink and do hardwork day and night. They won't be able to focus on eating and taking care of their health.

Therefore, I conclude that with continuous hardwork we can achieve our goal .

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages, but the development is uneven. While you provide a personal example of working as a medical coder, the discussion regarding the disadvantages is quite brief and lacks depth. The argument that children might get 'physically and mentally tired' is a good point, but it is not fully explored or supported with sufficient detail. Additionally, the introduction and conclusion are somewhat repetitive and do not clearly outline a strong, consistent position. To improve, ensure that each body paragraph provides a clear topic sentence followed by detailed explanation and a relevant example to fully develop your ideas.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical progression between ideas is often disjointed. Transitions are frequently missing or used incorrectly, such as the abrupt shift from discussing technology to school days. The use of cohesive devices is limited and sometimes mechanical, which makes the flow of the argument feel fragmented. For instance, the transition 'The another advantage is' is grammatically incorrect and disrupts the flow. To achieve a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'furthermore', 'consequently', 'on the other hand') to connect your sentences and paragraphs more smoothly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for a higher band. You rely on basic terms like 'get' and 'things' repeatedly, which limits the sophistication of your writing. There are also some awkward collocations and word choices, such as 'achieve smartly' and 'the independent one'. While your meaning is generally clear, the range of vocabulary is narrow and does not demonstrate an ability to use less common lexical items effectively. Expanding your vocabulary to include more academic and topic-specific terminology would significantly improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the essay, particularly with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'children has to go through', 'they has to rely on', 'they has to know'). Sentence structures are mostly simple, and attempts at complex sentences often contain errors in punctuation or word order. For example, the sentence 'The disadvantage is they will be physically and mentally get tired,if they overthink and do hardwork day and night' is poorly constructed. To improve, you need to focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement and punctuation, and then work on incorporating more complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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