Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In some cultures children are often told by their parents and by their family relatives that they can achieve anything if they work hard enough. This message have both positive and negative effects on children. Although it can encourage them to work harder and become confident, it may also give some unrealistic expectation about life.

One of the major advantage of giving children this message is that it can make them more motivated. When children believe that he can get success by putting efforts and hard work to achieve their goals even when they face difficulties he cannot give up. For example if a student are told by their parents that he can achieve good marks through regular studies may work harder instead of giving up. This can also help children to build confidence and a positive attitude towards challenges.

However there are also some disadvantages. There is main problem of that is hard work cannot always guarantee you a success. There is also some factors such as natural ability, financial situation, opportunities and luck that can affect a person's achievements. If children are repeatedly told that they can achieve whatever they want, they may feel disappointed and blame themselves when they fail despite working hard. This can lead to stress and low self-confidence.

In conclusion, telling children that they can achieve anything through hard work can motivate them and develop strong attitude towards challenges. However, parents should also teach them that success depends on several factors and that failure is a normal part of life. In my opinion , children should be encouraged to work hard while having realistic expectation.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are relevant. The introduction sets the stage well, and the body paragraphs provide logical arguments. However, the development of ideas is somewhat basic. For instance, the example of a student getting good marks is a bit generic. To reach a higher band, you should aim to provide more nuanced explanations or more sophisticated examples that demonstrate a deeper understanding of the psychological impact of this message on children. Overall, the task is fully addressed, but the depth of analysis could be improved.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages and disadvantages. Cohesive devices such as 'Although', 'However', and 'For example' are used to link ideas. However, the flow is occasionally slightly mechanical, and some transitions could be more sophisticated. For example, 'There is main problem of that is' is a clunky transition that disrupts the flow. Improving the variety of cohesive devices and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would elevate the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using words like 'unrealistic', 'motivated', and 'guarantee'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'There is main problem of that is' and 'get success'. To achieve a higher band, you should aim to incorporate more precise, less common lexical items and collocations. For example, instead of 'get success', you could use 'attain success' or 'achieve one's potential'. The vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning clearly, but it lacks the flexibility and precision of a higher band.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are several recurring grammatical errors that affect the accuracy of the text. For example, subject-verb agreement issues are frequent: 'This message have' (should be 'has'), 'a student are told' (should be 'is told'), and 'he can get success' (should be 'they can get success' to maintain plural consistency with 'children'). Additionally, there are errors with articles and prepositions, such as 'There is main problem'. While these errors do not impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage will significantly improve your accuracy.

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