Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-11

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some cultures children are quite often told that if they want to achieve anything they just have to try hard to get it. In this essay it will cover both advantages and disadvantages of such message that are given to children.

Firstly, the advantages of this messages does have an impact especially during the growing stage of children. The benefit of this message is that it allows children to have freedom of choice and there is not external pressure from parents and societal expectations. Another reason is that this leads to a child discovering new skills and passion which they are interested in. And when children are told they can achieve anything it gives them more encouragement to achieve a certain goal and establishes discipline and hard work from a young age.

As for the disadvantages of saying they can achieve anything they want if they try hard enough. It is counter intuitive as it can discourage the child from trying anything because they were told its hard to achieve something which makes them believe that everything is hard to do. And the child whose still in the developmental stage doesn't have an idea of what he wants to do and doesn't know the challenges and economic problems of the outside world, which can lead to them making a bad choice in terms of job opportunity and scope in future.

In conclusion , although the phrase may seem harmless and lighthearted it can backfire if not done and said in a proper way. so the phrase that children can achieve anything if they try hard enough is a disadvantage.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding the 'disadvantages' is slightly confusing; you state it is counter-intuitive because children are told it is 'hard to achieve something,' which contradicts the prompt's premise that they are told they can achieve anything. The conclusion also lacks a balanced summary, as it abruptly dismisses the concept entirely rather than synthesizing the points discussed. To improve, ensure each point is fully extended with clear examples or logical explanations, and maintain a consistent position throughout the response.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. You use basic cohesive devices like 'Firstly,' 'Another reason,' and 'In conclusion.' However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear. For example, in the second paragraph, the transition between 'freedom of choice' and 'external pressure' is abrupt. Additionally, the use of 'so' at the start of the final sentence in the conclusion is informal and disrupts the academic tone. Increasing the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between ideas would improve the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. You rely on simple phrases such as 'quite often,' 'bad choice,' and 'hard to do.' There are also some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'such message' (should be 'such a message') and 'whose still' (should be 'who is still'). To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary and collocations related to child development and societal influence, while ensuring that your word choices are accurate and contextually appropriate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that affect the quality of the writing. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('the advantages... does have'), missing articles ('in future' instead of 'in the future'), and punctuation errors, such as the space before the comma in the conclusion. The sentence 'And the child whose still in the developmental stage...' contains a relative pronoun error ('whose' instead of 'who is'). Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and refining your use of complex sentence structures will help improve your score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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