Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

Children are motivated by their parents in some cultures by saying that they can accomplish anything if they put their enough efforts. The parents support would encourage their children to get into top schools and make their life flourising; however, it can also make children anxious and potentially prone to commit suicide.

In India, parents advice their children to put extra efforts in their studies, as they think that it would help them to achieve better grades in their school. As a result, they can get into top instituets such as IIT, IISC and Nirma University. In addtion, passing out from such top indian universities would help them to get a better employment anywhere in the world, resulting in a better remunaration for their jobs. For example, thousands of students who have completed their education from IITs are working in top companies, and they are earning top salaries.

On a contrary view, sometimes parents force their children to acheive something; however, children are not physically and intellectually capable for this. This results into frustration and anger because of multiple failures, potentially making them depressed. Hence, serious health problems arise in the life of their children. Furthermore, they might prone to commit suicide because of the constant pressure of their parents. For example, recently a candidate commited suicide because of failure in multiple attamps of NEET examination in Gujarat; his suicide note decribed that he could not fulfill his parents dream, hence he has taken such a dangerous step.

In conclusion, motivating children by saying that they can fulfill their dreams if they give their full energy towards them, would have postives such as good employment for them and admission into their desired university; however, it can lead to some serious health issues because of depression and anxiety if they fail constantaly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

You have addressed both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt, providing a clear position throughout. The ideas are relevant, particularly the discussion on academic pressure in the Indian context. However, the development of the 'advantages' section is slightly more descriptive than analytical. To reach a higher band, ensure that the link between the 'message' and the 'outcome' is more deeply explored rather than just listing examples of successful students. The response is well-structured and covers all parts of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'In addition', 'On a contrary view', and 'Furthermore' to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and the referencing could be more fluid. For instance, 'On a contrary view' is a slight misuse of collocation; 'Conversely' or 'On the other hand' would be more natural. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and there is a clear progression of ideas throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'remuneration', 'intellectually capable', and 'frustration'. However, there are several spelling errors ('instituets', 'addtion', 'remunaration', 'acheive', 'commited', 'attamps', 'decribed', 'postives', 'constantaly') and minor collocation issues that occasionally distract the reader. To improve, focus on proofreading for common spelling mistakes and expanding your use of less common lexical items to convey more precise meanings. The current range is sufficient to communicate your ideas clearly despite these slips.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While your meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as 'parents advice' (should be 'advise'), 'they might prone to' (should be 'they might be prone to'), and 'results into' (should be 'results in'). Additionally, there are issues with article usage and subject-verb agreement. While these errors do not impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Increasing the variety of complex structures while ensuring accuracy in basic verb forms and prepositions will help improve your score.

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