Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
Motivation can be the most signicant weapon in today's life for someone's success. Some people believe that children can achieve anything if they try hard and I strongly agree with this statement. I will discuss both advantanges and disadvantages for this statement in this essay.
On the one side, in some culture, children are given teachings that anything can be achievable if you try hard. By giving this type of motivation to children, they work harder by giving their all efforts for a position they want to achieve in their life. If parents are motivating their children from their childhood and teaching them to try hard if they want to become succesful, then children will definitely learn from their moitvation, and work hard in their life to achieve something.
Morover, this can be beneficial in their future. If any person becomes successful in life by working so hard, then their is no worry about anything. If we take an example of Mukesh Ambani, he is in the list of World's top 10 richest person. He also worked so hard in his life from beginning to reach at the position he is at now. Evetything can be ahcieved by working hard and giving all efforts to make it happen. If a person decides to achieve something in life, then no one can stop him/her by creating the life he/she had imagined.
In conclusion, I would like to say that, there are so many advantages of working hard to achieve something in life, but from my opinion I cannot see any disadvantage in this thought.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The essay addresses the prompt but fails to provide a balanced discussion. While you mention both advantages and disadvantages in the introduction, you do not actually discuss any disadvantages in the body paragraphs. In the conclusion, you explicitly state that you 'cannot see any disadvantage,' which indicates a failure to address a core part of the task instructions. To achieve a higher band, you must provide at least one disadvantage, such as the potential for children to feel overwhelmed or develop a sense of failure if they do not succeed despite their best efforts. The ideas presented are somewhat repetitive and lack depth.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which is a positive feature. However, the progression of ideas is limited. You use basic cohesive devices like 'On the one side' and 'Moreover,' but the logical flow between sentences is sometimes disjointed. For example, the transition to the example of Mukesh Ambani is abrupt and does not clearly link back to the broader argument about the psychological impact of this message on children. Paragraphing is present, but the internal structure of the paragraphs could be more cohesive to better support your central argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. There are several spelling errors, such as 'signicant,' 'advantanges,' 'succesful,' 'moitvation,' 'Evetything,' and 'ahcieved.' These errors are frequent enough to be noticeable. You rely on simple, repetitive phrasing like 'working hard' and 'achieve something.' To improve, you should incorporate more varied vocabulary related to ambition, perseverance, and psychological development, and ensure you proofread for basic spelling accuracy.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'in some culture' (should be plural), 'their is no worry' (should be 'there'), and 'no one can stop him/her by creating' (awkward phrasing). There are also issues with article usage and subject-verb agreement. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on mastering basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement before attempting more complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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