Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-12
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In many cultures, kids are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. This essay will discuss the merits and demerits of giving children this message.
To commence with, explaining the advantage of the notion that they can gain confidence. To explain this, if a youngster is appreciated they will boost confidence and they can achieve anything if they set a goal. They will stay positive in every situation. Youngones will push them for breaking every limit. Moreover, they will push early instead of giving up. Minors will never give up and encouraged to do everything. They will never surrender and beat every situation. Kids will get success early in the life rather than other children. There skills will be improved such as communicating because they will not hesitate. Therefore, they will succeed early in the life.
Nevertheless, explaining the disadvantages of the notion that sometime hardwork is not enough; explaining this that natural talent is also needed. False hope can break their dedication and they will doubt themself. Person needed talent with hardwork and also money. Sometime financial crisis can befall their hope. Furthermore, constant hope of success can destroy the childhood of the children. They will not remain happy in most happiest phase of life. They will never have relax childhood.
To sum up, Although they will gain confidence with appreciation but sometime false hope can break their dedication.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt, but the development is limited. The response falls short of the 250-word minimum requirement, which negatively impacts the depth of the arguments. While the ideas are relevant, they are often repetitive and lack sufficient supporting evidence or examples. For instance, the discussion on 'natural talent' is introduced but not fully explored. To improve, you should aim to expand on your points with specific examples or logical consequences to ensure a more comprehensive response that meets the length requirement.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical and repetitive. Phrases like 'To explain this' and 'Moreover' are used frequently, and some transitions feel forced or unnatural. The logical progression within paragraphs is sometimes hindered by short, choppy sentences that lack clear connections. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that your ideas flow smoothly from one sentence to the next rather than relying on a rigid, repetitive structure.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You rely on basic terms like 'kids', 'youngones', and 'minors' interchangeably, which can be confusing. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'push early instead of giving up' and 'beat every situation'. To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to child development and psychology, and ensure that your word choices are contextually appropriate. Avoid repeating the same words in close proximity.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and some attempted complex structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'There skills will be improved' (should be 'Their'), 'Person needed talent' (should be 'A person needs'), and 'they will doubt themself' (should be 'themselves'). Subject-verb agreement and pronoun usage are inconsistent throughout the text. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like homophones and pluralization before attempting more complex grammatical structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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