Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-12

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In this modern era, a considerable number of communities taught their childrens that hard work always pay off if they wants to reach at any position. There are some merits and demerits of this trend which I will elaborate in the upcoming paragraphs.

To commence with, securing their future is one of the prominent reasons why people follow the trend of teaching hard work to their youngster to obtain something in life because competition of staying one step ahead from others is increasing day by day. For instance, being on top in their academics leads them to get handsome salaries with high profile jobs which helps their loved ones to enjoy standard life and gives them sense of consistency. Furthermore, this trend assists their children to build their confidence as doing hardest things force them to give up early and create numerous hazards to stop them trying till core end. If they cross this line then youngsters will learn the imporance of consistancy and will find the best version of theirselves.

In contrast, the main con of this message is, it creates toxic positivity. For example, sometimes children do not get the gold outcomes even after trying so hard. This results into only blaming themselves and can lose their interest forever. In addition, bad timing and luck could be the reason of their failure after the infinite efforts like short height children cannot go for some specific army departments and all of this shows the consequences of losing confidence that not being capable of doing easy tasks.

To conclude my persectives, although the upsides of this message assists their youngsters to be on upfront in this competitive era but also can leads to some psycological downsides.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear throughout, and the main ideas are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat uneven. For instance, the discussion on 'toxic positivity' is a strong point, but the explanation of 'hazards' and 'crossing the line' in the second paragraph is slightly vague and lacks precise logical development. To reach a higher band, ensure that each supporting point is fully explained with clear, logical steps rather than relying on slightly abstract phrasing.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Furthermore', and 'In contrast' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are slightly mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is interrupted by awkward phrasing, such as 'create numerous hazards to stop them trying till core end'. While the structure is generally sound, the internal cohesion within sentences could be improved to ensure a smoother reading experience.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, though there are several instances of imprecise word choice and minor errors. Phrases like 'gold outcomes' and 'infinite efforts' are slightly unnatural in this context. There is an attempt to use a range of vocabulary, but the control is not always consistent. Spelling errors such as 'imporance', 'consistancy', 'theirselves', and 'persectives' occur, which slightly detract from the overall quality. Focusing on collocations and more precise academic terminology would help elevate the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow, such as subject-verb agreement issues ('communities taught their childrens', 'hard work always pay off', 'if they wants'). There are also errors in preposition use and article placement. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Increasing the accuracy of basic grammatical structures and proofreading for subject-verb agreement would be highly beneficial.

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