Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

some culture gives children motivation by telling that "they can achieve anything if they work hard enough" I think it is important to make children think positive and not stay motivated to do all the hard work in order to achieve their goal.I think this quote has both advantages and drawbacks as well.

Firstly if we are looking at the advantages there are many like children's feel motivated and stay ready to do the hard work to grab every possible opportunity to become successful or achieve their goal. There are many children who wants to become most successful and have dream like come 1st in exam or win a race and so many but they don't work hard enough then they may not able to achieve their goal as they have thought before. Many children always dreaming about getting good life or become successful in their life but never train themselves hard enough to achieve the success.

there are some drawbacks as well with advantages so if we are taking about this disadvantages children might be not able to achieve their goal despite work hard enough and because of all previous advises given by their parents that you can achieve anything if you work hard they may feel like they have lose,they don't deserve it or they are not good enough to make their dreams true. The quote given by their parents creates an indirect impression on the children's mind that if they are working hard for their dream they will gonna get success in it.

In conclusion I want to say that it is important for all parents to understand and motivate their children but also reach them how to coap with failure and one don't get always what he dreamed of.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that children feel motivated, the explanation remains repetitive, focusing heavily on the idea of 'working hard' without exploring broader psychological or societal implications. The disadvantages section is more insightful, touching on the potential for feelings of failure, but it could be extended further with specific examples or a more nuanced discussion. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully supported with clear reasoning rather than restating the same concept in different words.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is quite mechanical and sometimes inaccurate. For instance, the transition 'there are some drawbacks as well with advantages so if we are taking about this disadvantages' is clunky and lacks fluency. Additionally, the lack of punctuation, such as missing commas and periods, makes the flow of ideas feel disjointed. Improving the use of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'furthermore', 'on the other hand') and ensuring proper sentence boundaries would significantly improve the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety required for higher bands. You rely on basic phrasing such as 'do the hard work' and 'become successful' repeatedly. There are also some errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'reach them how to coap with failure' (should be 'teach' and 'cope') and 'they have lose' (should be 'they have lost'). To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated synonyms and ensure that you use words in their correct grammatical form and context.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation that occasionally impede readability. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'some culture gives' instead of 'some cultures give'), incorrect verb tenses, and missing articles. Furthermore, the lack of proper punctuation, particularly the absence of full stops between independent clauses, creates run-on sentences. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like pluralisation and verb forms will help you achieve a more accurate and professional tone.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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