Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Many people in the world used to convince the children, there is nothing impossible if they work hard to achieve. This essay will discuss how this message to the youngsters can make them resilient and how sometimes it can lead to some detrimental issues like loss of self-belief in the subconscious of youths?

The prominent benefit of the message to the adolescent can make them resilient. In many society, parents always support their children at any situation at any cost. But the word 'you can do it' hits differently in the subconscious in the youngsters. It makes them strong enough to believe their ownselfs. For instance, when an individuals got the emotional support by their loved ones then they started to foster enough and they got to know the real potentials in them. As a result nothing can destroy them even if they failed. They can again raise as before young and fresh.

On the contrary, this kind of motivating quote sometimes fails and lead to some detrimental problems such as loss of self-belief in adolescents' mind. Although the support from the parents and the their hard work, sometimes children become unsuccess of less success, then after they start to doubt on their potential and hard work and they consider themselves as a loser. As a result they might take the unfair decision of suicide. For example, in Nepal, many students had attempt the suicide after securing the unpredictable marks by them. Failure does not determine the their life span as well as their capabilities. but failure is the prime step of success.

In conclusion, Most of the people used to say that there is nothing impossible to their kids. It might be somewhat beneficial to them, however it also has drawbacks. So, parents must direct their children at right direction saying ' failure is the first step of success'.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding resilience is supported by general statements rather than specific, well-elaborated examples. The second body paragraph touches on the serious issue of suicide, but the connection back to the prompt's core theme—the impact of the 'anything is possible' message—could be more nuanced. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with logical reasoning rather than just stating the consequence. The conclusion provides a summary but introduces a new piece of advice that was not previously discussed, which is slightly off-topic.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. There is a progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'But the word...' at the start of a sentence or 'then after they start to doubt'. Referencing is occasionally unclear, for example, 'the their hard work' and 'the their life span'. While the paragraphing is appropriate, the flow between sentences could be improved by using a wider variety of linking words to connect ideas more naturally rather than relying on simple transitions.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing the writer to express their ideas clearly. There are some attempts at less common vocabulary, such as 'resilient', 'subconscious', and 'detrimental'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'unsuccess of less success', 'unfair decision of suicide', and 'unpredictable marks'. These errors do not impede communication, but they do limit the precision of the argument. To improve, focus on learning collocations (e.g., 'achieve academic success' instead of 'become unsuccess') and using more precise terminology to describe psychological states.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text, including subject-verb agreement issues ('many students had attempt', 'failure is the prime step'), article misuse ('in many society'), and awkward phrasing ('the their hard work'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with the use of commas and the inclusion of a question mark in the introduction where a full stop would be more appropriate. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy would be highly beneficial.

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