Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-13

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Nowadays, education plays a fundamental role in society, shaping children knowledge, skills, opportunities, and future prospect. It is believed that, in some cultures, children are often share that they can achieve if they try hard enough. I partially agree with given statement.

To commence with, regarding hard work, children can become more confident and improve their practical skills, achieve their dream goals and experience share with families. Moreover, children become aware of general knowledge and practical skills because it assists gain work experience and performance in the field. For example, A student who struggles with maths may continue practising instead of giving up. It is more beneficial for students enhance knowledge nd positive thinking. Additionally, parents can also encourage and motivate for a child because they can achieve dream goals and share with journey.

On the other hand, hard work does not important in real life because hard work does not always guarantee success in their life. Regarding personal finance, young children should learn how to manage money because financial education can help them control spending, avoid unnecessary debt, and make responsible decisions. For example, A child may work extremely hard but still not become a professional athlete. In addition, sometimes children may blame their own mistake themselves when they failed and They may think they did not work hard enough and efforts.

To conclusion, both are equal opportunities to children achievement goals and success in their lives, but hard work is not success. It is more important for education, money, and talents because it supports children to learn new things and gain work experience.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the message, but the development is inconsistent. While you identify benefits like confidence and persistence, the explanation is often vague, such as 'experience share with families.' The disadvantages section is somewhat confusing, as the argument shifts to financial education, which is not directly related to the prompt's focus on the 'hard work' message. The conclusion is also slightly contradictory, suggesting that hard work is not success, which lacks clarity. To improve, ensure each paragraph focuses strictly on the prompt and provides clear, logical examples that directly support your main points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently interrupted by unclear phrasing and awkward transitions. For instance, the transition 'To commence with' is used, but the following sentences lack a clear connection to the topic. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often mechanical or misused, such as 'To conclusion' instead of 'In conclusion.' Referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow your line of reasoning. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence builds logically upon the previous one will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for basic communication but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'children are often share' instead of 'children are often told' and 'achieve their dream goals.' You rely on simple, repetitive language, and there is a lack of less common lexical items. To improve, focus on learning collocations (words that naturally go together) and try to incorporate more academic vocabulary related to the topic of education and personal development.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('hard work does not important'), incorrect word forms ('children achievement goals'), and missing articles or prepositions. Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with capitalization and comma usage. While you attempt complex sentences, they are often faulty. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like verb tense consistency and article usage before attempting more complex structures.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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