Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In some countries, children are often encouraged to believe that they can accomplish anything if they work hard enough. This statement has both positive and negative effects on children.

On the one hand, believing that hard work can help them achieve their goals can boost children's confidence by encouraging them to work hard to achieve their goals. This is because children who work hard are more likely to succeed, and this encourages them to take on difficult challenges, which can further increase their confidence. For example, children who studied day and night for an exam may get a good result which encourages them continue work hard. Furthermore, It teaches children persistence, if children believes that hard work leads to success, they may not give up easily when they face difficulties. Therefore, children may develop a positive attitude towards challenges and become more confident.

On the other hand, it also creates unrealistic expectations among children. it develops high expectations in their mind to achieve success simply because they work hard, which can lead to disappointment, stress and anxiety when they fail. For example, a child may work extremely hard to achieve a particular goal, but may not get the desired result because of competition. Moreover, It ignores natural abilities and external factors. In reality, people have different abilities and opportunities, so working hard does not always guarantee the same results. Therefore, children may develop an unrealistic understanding of success and blame themselves when they do not achieve their goals.

In conclusion, telling children that they can achieve anything through hard work can build their confidence and motivation, but it may also create unrealistic expectations which can cause negative feelings such as make them disappointed, stress and anxiety when they fail.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt clearly. The position is consistent throughout, and the ideas are relevant and supported with examples, such as the mention of academic performance and the reality of external factors. To reach a higher band, the development could be more nuanced; for instance, the discussion on 'natural abilities' is a strong point that could be expanded further to show a deeper understanding of the complexity of the issue. Overall, the response is well-focused and meets all requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Furthermore', 'Moreover', and 'Therefore' are used effectively to guide the reader through the argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages from the disadvantages. The progression of ideas is clear, although some transitions could be more sophisticated to improve the flow. The referencing is generally accurate, and the structure supports the overall argument well.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, allowing for clear communication of ideas. You use some relevant topic-specific terms like 'unrealistic expectations', 'persistence', and 'external factors'. However, there is a tendency to repeat words like 'hard work' and 'achieve', which limits the range. To improve, try to incorporate more synonyms and collocations to demonstrate a wider lexical range. There are no significant spelling errors, and the word choices are generally appropriate for an academic context, though they lack the sophistication required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are some minor grammatical slips, such as 'if children believes' (subject-verb agreement) and 'make them disappointed, stress and anxiety' (parallelism issues). Punctuation is generally correct, though there are occasional errors with comma usage. The majority of sentences are error-free, but the range of complex structures is somewhat limited. Focusing on more varied sentence patterns and ensuring subject-verb agreement will help elevate your score in this criterion.

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