Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-14
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In several traditions, Children are asked to try hard enough that they can achieve anything. This advice has many advantages and also disadvantages associated with childrens. In this essay, I will discuss how hard work helps children to succeed in their life. But it also has a few disadvantages associated like children after attempting for a goal leave their ambitions.
On one hand, hardwork is the key to success in every field of life. In many cultures, children are asked to achieve their ambitions on their own. They set their life goals and began to work hard to get success, it not only makes them confident but also teaches them that hardwork is the pillar to get achievement at any position whether in business or in daily life. For instance, some children have ambition to become doctor they are advised to stay focused on their goal.
On the other hand, children are not emotionally strong enough to face failure. They think success is their fate after working hard for a goal. But when they did not achieve their ambition they become mentally stressed which in turn makes them physically ill. They always have fear of failure in their mind which makes them coward. Hence, such children leave their life goals because of the failure.
Overall, advising children about hard work is positive because it makes them ambitious. But councelling is also important because it gives children self-confidence to face failure and encourages to try again and again to reach their goal.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.5 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention that hard work leads to success and that failure causes stress, these points could be extended with more specific examples or deeper analysis. The introduction is a bit repetitive, and the conclusion introduces a new idea (counseling) that was not previously discussed in the body paragraphs. To reach a higher band, ensure that each body paragraph fully explores the implications of the arguments provided rather than just stating them briefly.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use basic cohesive devices such as 'On one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'For instance' to link your points. However, the flow between sentences is sometimes mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally unclear, such as in the phrase 'associated like children after attempting for a goal'. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring smoother transitions between sentences would enhance the overall coherence of the essay.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. You rely on common terms like 'hard work', 'success', and 'ambition'. There are some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'councelling' (spelling) and 'makes them coward' (should be 'cowardly'). To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions related to the topic of child development and psychology, and ensure that your word forms are used correctly in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and article usage (e.g., 'some children have ambition to become doctor' should be 'a doctor'). There are also punctuation issues, such as missing commas in complex sentences. While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and diversifying your sentence structures will help improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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