Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In this contemporary era, the widespread of giving hope to children that they can achieve everything if they work hard. This popularity has offers notable benefits, it also presents certain drawbacks. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this popularity before explaining why I believe that the benefits outweigh the drawbacks.

Naturally, giving message to children that working hard is the key of success is considered more essential for parents, creating inexhaustible benefits for their children, which are not possible from other institutions. Moreover, it demonstrates unparalleled benefits for infants, permeating and enhancing every conceivable sector of society. Since children seek development and fulfillment through parents encourages, giving message for working hard to children is imperative to elevate modern living standards. If this is adopted by teachers and parents alike, many children stand to benefit significantly. Giving message children to work hard to be success in many nations such as China and Japan, for instance, has emerged as a pivotal model for gaining everything, delivering enhanced services for their child’s.

On the other hand, there are several reasons with the view of the message of work hard for achieving anything to children that make us consider alternatives. Under certain circumstances, guardians and instructors may shy away from giving message to work hard due to a range of challenges such as physical and mental health crises, adverse environmental conditions, technological barriers, fear of failure, and lack of support. While believing children to work hard can help to find success is widely embraced in many major cities worldwide, hard work in impoverished and developing nations frequently contends with profound financial limitations and deteriorating conditions when striving to implement this approach. Therefore, the notion of working hard is not always appealing. From social and guidance perspectives, if the goals of parents dictate that achieving everything by work hard is not merely an option but an imperative, they may choose to embrace it.

In conclusion, it is the responsibility of parents and mentors to evaluate the role of encouraging children to work hard and determine whether it will do more harm than good. Thus, it is evident that fostering an interest in sending message to children to do hard work for achieving their goals is beneficial.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. For instance, the argument regarding the benefits in Japan and China is vague and lacks specific explanation of how this 'model' functions. The discussion on disadvantages is also somewhat disjointed, listing factors like 'technological barriers' and 'mental health' without fully explaining how these relate to the core message of 'working hard.' While a position is stated, the supporting arguments lack the depth required for a higher band score, often relying on generalizations rather than clear, logical progression.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is an attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'Moreover,' 'On the other hand,' and 'Therefore.' However, the flow between sentences is often mechanical and sometimes confusing. For example, the transition in the second paragraph from the importance of parents to the mention of Japan and China feels abrupt. Additionally, some sentences are repetitive, such as the frequent use of 'giving message to children,' which hinders the natural flow of the argument. Paragraphing is present, but the internal logic within paragraphs needs more careful structuring to guide the reader effectively.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. There is significant repetition of phrases like 'giving message to children' and 'work hard.' The student attempts some academic vocabulary, such as 'contemporary era' and 'unparalleled,' but these are sometimes used in ways that are not entirely natural or accurate in context (e.g., 'the widespread of giving hope'). To improve, the student should focus on using a wider range of synonyms and more precise collocations to express ideas, rather than relying on a limited set of repetitive phrases.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include missing articles ('giving message to children'), incorrect verb forms ('This popularity has offers'), and awkward phrasing ('the widespread of giving hope'). While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. The student should focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and ensuring that sentence structures are grammatically sound to improve the overall accuracy of the response.

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