Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-14

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Children are told that they can achieve anything by trying hard in some cultures which have some negative as well as positive impact.

This essay will examine both advantages and disadvantages.

On the one hand, this message has several positive effects on children.

Firstly, it build confidence in children which plays a vital role for children to move forward and do something productive for themselves.

The other most important thing is motivation. If children have some motivation for anything they want to achieve in their future, Obviously they will be successful one day.

Moreover, if children are passionate for something and they are trying hard by working day and night to achieve their goals then nothing will stop them to be successful for their bright future. and it's definitely a good thing to be that much motivated in such young age.

On the other side, if I talk about the negativities I would say it can create an unrealistic expectations and disappointments if children do not succeed in any matter they just get disappoint and which may lead to low self-esteem and frustration or maybe they quit everything or which they were working on. Which is totally wrong because not everyone one is that much perfect so that they can win in their first attempt.

I believe all children should be motivated for their goals achievement by working hard and if they may lose once or twice that does not mean they are failures. Instead they should try again and again to overcome their mistakes and be what they want to.

To conclude, in every stage of life there are many positive or negative things but children should keep going on until achieving their goals.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development is somewhat superficial. While you mention confidence and motivation as advantages, and unrealistic expectations as a disadvantage, these points are not fully extended with concrete examples or deeper analysis. The position is clear, but the essay lacks the depth required for a higher band. To improve, ensure that each main idea is supported by a specific explanation or a hypothetical scenario to demonstrate the impact of these messages on children's development.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'On the other hand'. However, some transitions are mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'The other most important thing is motivation'. Additionally, there are issues with sentence-level cohesion, particularly in the paragraph discussing disadvantages, where sentences are run-on or fragmented (e.g., 'Which is totally wrong because...'). Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring that sentences are clearly connected would enhance the flow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks precision and variety. You rely on basic terms like 'good thing', 'something', and 'everything'. There are also some minor errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'create an unrealistic expectations' (should be 'create unrealistic expectations') and 'get disappoint' (should be 'get disappointed'). To reach a higher band, you should incorporate more precise, academic vocabulary and demonstrate a better grasp of collocations related to child development and psychological outcomes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the reader's flow. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('it build confidence'), incorrect article usage, and punctuation errors (e.g., starting sentences with 'Which'). The sentence structure is often repetitive, and some sentences are grammatically incomplete or run-on. To improve, focus on mastering basic subject-verb agreement, correct verb forms, and ensuring that complex sentences are punctuated correctly to avoid fragments.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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