Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-15

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Part 2

Nowadays, in many traditions young chindrens are encouraged that anything can be achieaule through hard work. This believe has various advantages, but on the other hand its disadvantages cannot be overlooked.

To begin with, it will motivate children. For instance, if their parents supports them or even encouraged them, then their motivation will increase. They will work really hard to achieve their dreams, and their bond with parents will get even stronger. Secoundaly, they will perform every task with full dedication. If childrens, get their parents supports, then their dedication in a work will be unbrakeable. No matter how many difficulties they may face. Their confidence will never fall and they will not stop till reaching their dreams.

On the negative side, this topic has some disadvantages aso well. Evistey, it will put strain on their bodies. for example - if young childrens are always forced to work hard then they may feel burdened and can even feel stressed. Their developement can be affected by constant stress or the pressure of work. Furthermore, sometimes success cannot be achieuable

throw hard work. for instance, no matter how much hard working a person will be he could never overcome human capabilities. Like humans could never fly by themselfs like birds do. So hard work is not always very effect in achieving dreams.

To conclude, undobtly, it can be said that teaching children the important of hard work is very important but it will requir proper guidance in certain work.

But its advantages overlab its disadvantages.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the argument regarding 'human capabilities' is a bit abstract and could have been better linked to the psychological impact of unrealistic expectations. While the position is clear, the supporting points are brief and lack depth. To reach a higher band, you should expand on your examples with more specific detail or logical explanation, ensuring that the connection between the message given to children and the resulting outcomes is fully explored.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'To begin with', 'Secoundaly', and 'On the negative side', which help guide the reader. However, some transitions are mechanical, and there are instances where the flow is slightly disrupted by awkward phrasing. The use of referencing is generally clear, but improving the variety of linking words would enhance the overall cohesion of the essay.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is adequate for the task, but it is somewhat repetitive and lacks precision. There are several spelling errors, such as 'chindrens', 'achieaule', 'developement', and 'undobtly', which indicate a need for more careful proofreading. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary like 'dedication' and 'unbrakeable', the range is limited. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and ensuring correct spelling of common academic terms to avoid distracting the reader.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement ('parents supports', 'childrens get') and pluralisation ('chindrens'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary hyphens and incorrect comma usage. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the clarity of your writing. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy and sentence construction will help you achieve a higher score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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