Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-15
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In few traditions, people tell their kids if they willing to do something in their life they can be successful in kind of situations.
In my perspective, the advantages of giving that advice to youngers is that children can achieve their goals and be successful in their life. On the other hand the big profit of this advice can boost up their confidence in practical life because many young children face low confidence when they start their real life out of their comfort zone and that is the main benefit of this advice and every parent should give this advice to their kids.
On the other perspective, if we think the disadvantages of this advice that is mainly consider on the big risks in their life. The reason of disadvantages behind this advice is youngers can also face the lack of knowledge about making plans, savings for the future, and being less competitive in their work. On the other hand large disadvantages of this advice is kids can be unserious about their plans and discussions about their goals because they can blindly trust in the advice without making proper plans and without knowing the circumstances of their plans about future.
To conclude, my personal opinion is youngers should discuss with their elders before making these types of plans and before blindly trusting on any cultural advices. Cultures can distract them with that kind of advices because the specific advice can't work for everyone in their personal life or their future plans.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, but the development of ideas is limited. While you mention confidence as an advantage and lack of planning as a disadvantage, these points are not fully explored or supported with specific examples. The position is clear, but the arguments remain somewhat superficial. To improve, you should aim to expand on your points by explaining the 'why' and 'how' behind your claims, ensuring that each paragraph provides a more thorough analysis of the cultural message described in the prompt.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often repetitive or mechanical, such as the frequent use of 'on the other hand' and 'the reason of'. Some transitions between sentences feel abrupt, and the logical flow within paragraphs could be smoother. For example, the transition from the advantages to the disadvantages is somewhat abrupt. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each sentence logically follows the previous one would significantly improve the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. You rely on basic phrasing, such as 'big profit' or 'unserious', which are not natural collocations in this context. There are also some issues with word choice, such as using 'youngers' instead of 'young people' or 'children'. To achieve a higher score, focus on using more sophisticated vocabulary and idiomatic expressions that are appropriate for an academic essay, and pay closer attention to word forms and collocations.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. For instance, 'In few traditions' should be 'In some cultures', and 'if we think the disadvantages' is grammatically incorrect. There are also issues with subject-verb agreement and article usage throughout the text. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like pluralisation and prepositions will be beneficial.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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