Band 6.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.5)

In different cultural backgrounds, children are educated in various ways. In some countries, children are told that as long as they work hard enough, they will end up achieving anything. In this essay, I will analyse the advantages and disadvantages of having this mindset.

Firstly, telling children to try hard helps them develop a positive attitude towards difficulties. This mindset motivates them to search for methods to overcome obstacles. Take preparing for a test as an example, when children meet a concept that is hard to understand and master, the children with a positive attitude will initially find methods to solve it and learn a lot during the process. The children with a negative one, instead, are more likely to give up straight away. In the long run, the children with a belief that all problems can be fixed will develop more confidence and accumulate more problem-solving methods. Therefore, this educational theory has the benefit of forming a positive personality.

On the flip side, this mindset may lead children to ignore the fact that only having diligence is not enough to fix problems. Before devoting time and energy to one thing, it is important to justify that it is effective. People who are seeking jobs, for instance, often pay attention to refining their resume blindly by highlighting their previous achievements. However, people equipped with the practical skills needed by the targeted companies stand out in the view of HR. If children don't realize the significance of evaluating the decisions in advance, in the end, they probably question the effectiveness of being diligent. Thus, over-highlighting the value of trying hard also has the drawback of missing the importance of making a wise choice.

Above all, while giving children this message helps society and parents raise the children with a willingness to face obstacles, it misleads children into believing that diligence is the only essential quality. To make sure children are able to have a better life in the future, both society and parents should tell them that working hard is essential, but only having this is not enough.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.5

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear position and balanced discussion of both advantages and disadvantages. The ideas are well-developed, particularly the point about the importance of strategic decision-making alongside diligence. The essay maintains a consistent focus on the topic throughout. To reach a higher band, the student could provide more nuanced examples or explore the long-term societal implications of this mindset in greater depth, as the current arguments are somewhat generalized. However, the response is fully relevant and effectively structured to meet the requirements of the task.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, two body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'On the flip side', and 'Above all' are used effectively to guide the reader through the argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately, with each paragraph focusing on a central theme. While the flow is generally smooth, some transitions between sentences could be more sophisticated to avoid a slightly mechanical feel. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow, meeting the criteria for a well-structured response.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary used is sufficient and generally appropriate for the task. The student demonstrates an ability to use topic-specific language such as 'diligence', 'obstacles', and 'targeted companies'. There are some minor collocations that could be improved, such as 'refining their resume blindly' or 'stand out in the view of HR', which sound slightly unnatural. However, the range is adequate to convey complex ideas clearly, and there are no significant errors in word choice that impede communication. Expanding the range of academic collocations would help elevate the score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay displays a good mix of simple and complex sentence structures. The student uses conditional sentences and relative clauses effectively, such as 'If children don't realize the significance...'. While there are occasional minor errors, such as 'raise the children' (should be 'raise children') and 'stand out in the view of HR' (should be 'stand out to HR'), these do not impede understanding. The majority of sentences are error-free, and the punctuation is generally accurate. The control over grammar is solid, showing a good level of competence.

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