Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In contemporary society, succession is glorified from the grass root level where motivation and boosting of confidence is the great section of long term success and is praised by different types of cultures around the world. In my view, personality and self-confidence should be highly taught and praised by every culture for better sustained development of self-willingness to tackle the hurdles that come alongside the journey of the life.

On the other hand, there are several clear disadvantages linked to the lack of the personality in an individual. This is primarily because the negative impact on the mentality of self-willingness which can lead to the production of low impacted society as well as an individual. For instance, In Nepali society, development of willingness isn't praised rather destroy the willingness of an individual by demotivating him which has lead to the weak personality alongside the increment of the lack of enthusiasm. Consequently, these issues can create significant challenges for individual and the society.

On the other hand, The primary advantage if eagerness is its remarkable influence on development of resilient individual to the society. This is because engaging with or utilizing such mentality from the early age can lead to development of strong society and can help the individual to solve the social as well as personal problems. For instance, western culture highly praises the eagerness and works on nourishment of such traits in an individual from the pupil age which has lead to the better handling of the difficulties. Consequently, this creates a good impression in long term success.

In conclusion, the enthusiasm is overwhelmingly positive and play the crucial role in shaping a better future. Ultimately, it's widespread adoption should be encouraged given the value it provides to the individual and the society0

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages and disadvantages of telling children they can achieve anything. However, the development is inconsistent. The first paragraph is somewhat vague, and the second paragraph focuses on the 'lack of personality' rather than the specific disadvantages of the 'anything is possible' message, such as the risk of disappointment or unrealistic expectations. The argument is present but lacks depth and clarity in its logical progression. To improve, ensure each paragraph directly addresses the specific prompt and provides clear, logical support for the points raised.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and unclear transitions. For example, the use of 'On the other hand' to introduce both the second and third paragraphs is repetitive and confusing, as these paragraphs do not present contrasting ideas in a standard way. Cohesive devices are used, but they are often mechanical or misused, such as 'production of low impacted society'. The progression of ideas is sometimes difficult to follow due to these structural issues.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and often imprecise. There are several instances of awkward collocations and word choices that impede clarity, such as 'succession is glorified from the grass root level', 'low impacted society', and 'pupil age'. While the student attempts to use more academic vocabulary, the lack of precision and frequent errors in word formation suggest a limited range. To reach a higher band, focus on learning common collocations and using words in their correct context rather than attempting overly complex terminology.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'enthusiasm... play the crucial role'), incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence construction (e.g., 'the primary advantage if eagerness is its remarkable influence'). These errors are frequent and occasionally make the meaning difficult to grasp. A greater focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy and sentence structure is necessary to improve the score.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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