Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-16

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In some environments, children are often advised that they can achieve anything if they try their best. While some argue that, despite their consistency, dedication, and hard work, circumstances play a key role in achieving success. This essay discusses both advantages and disadvantages

On the one hand, children's minds are like raw clay, and we can shape them in any form. Motivating them from a young age will lead to substantial positive growth. If children are told that they can achieve anything, they will push the limit and ultimately achieve something. For instance, elephants are chained in small age to tame them, but when they grow, they do not break chains because in their mindset, they think it is impossible to break the chain. That is the power of mindset. If children are advised to do hard work, they will appreciate every bit of work regardless of consequences.

On the other hand, people believe that advising children with aforementioned statement will make them desperate and lead to various detrimental consequences like frustration, anxiety, low self-esteem, etc. In spite of our hard work, there is no guarantee of success because it is bounded by various factors. For instance, success needs a foundation, resilience, determination, perseverance, etc., more than just mere hard work. So it is not a good idea to tell them that they can achieve anything; instead, we should teach them to let go if things do not go our way.

In conclusion, advising children with positive mindset is always needed for success, while it may lead to frustration, depression and anxiety if they did not achieve it after giving their absolute best

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the introduction is slightly underdeveloped; the first sentence is a fragment, and the second sentence lacks a clear connection to the prompt. While the body paragraphs provide relevant points, the development is somewhat superficial. For instance, the elephant analogy is an interesting attempt at illustration, but it is not fully linked back to the core argument about children's development. The conclusion is also quite abrupt and lacks a clear summary of the main points. To reach a higher band, ensure that each argument is fully extended with clear, logical explanations and that the position is consistently maintained throughout the essay.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'On the one hand' and 'On the other hand', which provide a logical framework. However, the flow within paragraphs is sometimes mechanical. For example, the transition between the elephant example and the concluding sentence of that paragraph is abrupt. Additionally, some sentences lack clear logical progression, such as the opening sentence which is grammatically incomplete. Improving the use of referencing and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next would enhance the overall coherence of the response.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, with some attempts at more sophisticated language like 'detrimental consequences', 'resilience', and 'perseverance'. However, there are instances of imprecise word choice and awkward phrasing, such as 'chained in small age' instead of 'chained at a young age' and 'advising children with aforementioned statement'. These errors do not impede communication but do limit the precision of the argument. To improve, focus on using collocations more accurately and expanding your range of vocabulary to include more nuanced expressions related to child development and psychological outcomes.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as the fragment in the introduction ('While some argue that...'), subject-verb agreement issues, and awkward preposition usage (e.g., 'advising children with...'). Punctuation is generally functional, but there are minor errors in comma usage. While the errors do not prevent the reader from understanding the main points, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. To improve, focus on ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and practice proofreading to catch minor errors in articles and prepositions.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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