Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-17
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is comman in some cultures that children can achieve anything if they try hard. some people motivate there children so they can achieve anything they want in there life. this message has both advantages and disadvantages. because there are some things that children can not do.
The first advantage is that this message can boost children mind set so they can do anything. like they can focuss on there study. they can learn basic life skills and many more. for example if a children wants to become a docter this message will motivate them and they will study hard and will go to school regularly. the children think that they can become docter. this thing can teach them the abilties of the hard work. another advantage is that children can learn the efforts and the dificulties of life and this can help them in there school life and in real life.
The First disadvantage of the children can achieve anything if they try hard is that some time children do hard work and pay full attention to there studies and did not got the reward they deserve. for example, some children do hard work in study and achieve high mark after there study so its not true that they will get a good job like goverment job. this thing can make a diffirance.
In concllusion, asking children work hard they can achieve anything. that is a good thing that they can achieve anything through hard work. but parants should have to prepare them for the lose and failure.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by identifying both advantages and disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is limited. The arguments regarding the 'mindset' and 'hard work' are somewhat repetitive and lack depth. For instance, the example of becoming a doctor is a good start, but it is not fully explained in terms of the psychological impact of the message. The disadvantage section is also underdeveloped; the point about failing to get a government job is a specific scenario that does not fully capture the broader psychological risks of the 'anything is possible' narrative. To improve, you should expand on the reasoning behind your points rather than just stating them.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is very basic and sometimes mechanical. Phrases like 'The first advantage is' and 'Another advantage is' are used, but there is a lack of sophisticated linking words to connect ideas within sentences. Additionally, some sentences are fragmented or lack logical flow, such as the transition between the introduction and the first body paragraph. The conclusion is also quite abrupt and does not effectively summarize the main points discussed in the body paragraphs.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and repetitive. You frequently use basic words like 'do', 'make', 'hard work', and 'things'. There are also several spelling errors throughout the text, such as 'comman' (common), 'focuss' (focus), 'docter' (doctor), 'dificulties' (difficulties), 'concllusion' (conclusion), and 'parants' (parents). These errors, combined with the lack of variety, restrict the expression of more complex ideas. To reach a higher band, you need to use a wider range of vocabulary, including collocations and less common words, and ensure your spelling is accurate.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay relies heavily on simple sentence structures. There are frequent grammatical errors that affect the clarity of your writing. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'some people motivate there children'), incorrect pronoun usage ('there' instead of 'their'), and missing articles. The punctuation is also inconsistent, with many sentences starting with lowercase letters. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar and sentence construction prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. You should focus on mastering basic sentence patterns and proofreading for common errors like homophones.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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