Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

many people argue that if they want to achieve something they only have to try harder and by trying harder there is no way they are not gonna achieve their goals. there is various ways to motivate the children and one of them is increasing their self confidence while they are growing but also not giving them an unrealistic expectation.

on one hand ,the children that are told they can be more successful if they try harder often end up being an over achiever and they seems to have greater motivation. they also may have more perseverance when facing difficulties. doe to the fact that they have been always encourage to follow their dreams they have a higher willingness to take risks and set more ambitious goals.

one the other hand, children might start to have some unrealistic goals and expectation which can cause many problem in along term for example some mental problems such as depression or burnout. they also may feel like a failure if they do not succeed in something. it can be much more difficult for them to grow a mindset where they can achieve their goals and they do not have the ability to be able to cope with setbacks.

to sum up, i assume that parents should always tell their children that they are going to succeed even if it build high expectation because childre

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the topic, but it is incomplete as the conclusion is cut off mid-sentence. The ideas are relevant but remain somewhat superficial and under-developed. For instance, the mention of 'mental problems' is a good point but lacks specific explanation or examples. Furthermore, the response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the ability to fully develop the argument. To improve, you must ensure your essay is complete and provide more depth to your supporting points.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is somewhat mechanical and repetitive (e.g., 'on one hand', 'on the other hand'). The progression of ideas is clear, but the abrupt ending prevents a logical conclusion, which disrupts the overall flow. Referencing is generally clear, but the lack of a finished final paragraph makes the cohesion feel incomplete. Using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring a complete structure would improve this score.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. You use some relevant terms like 'perseverance', 'ambitious', and 'setbacks', but there are also instances of informal or imprecise language, such as 'gonna' and 'some problem'. The word choice is generally functional but lacks sophistication. To reach a higher band, focus on using more precise collocations and academic vocabulary, and avoid informal contractions like 'gonna' in formal writing tasks.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent errors in grammar and punctuation. Examples include subject-verb agreement issues ('the children... seems to have'), incorrect preposition usage ('in along term'), and missing articles. While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to be noticeable. To improve, focus on proofreading for basic grammatical accuracy, such as pluralisation and verb forms, and try to incorporate more complex sentence structures with greater precision.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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