Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the contemporary era it is highly believed that every children should be motivated enough to achieve their desires by devoting themselves for hard work. It varies person to person, and people have their distinct opinion. This essay will examine both perspective before presenting my own. However, i strongly believe that the demerits outweigh the merits.

To commence with the first notion, there are so many things to be shared in its favor. First and foremost, i would like to talk about the willpower of a human being. If a children get enough encouragement from their parents, they become more motivated to achieve anything to satisfy their parents. At the same time it helps them to gain pleasure of something after hard works. Consequently, it boots their confidence. As a result, they don't hesitate to participate in any games. For instance, if a children get a go-cart from their parents to become a formula one driver in the long run, definitely there is a high chance they will become a good driver in the upcoming future. Every children is capable of achieving everything if they get proper guidance and suitable environment.

Going to the second school of thought, there are some people strongly believe that not every children are not capable of achieving everything. Because, only encouragement is not enough to achieving anything, due to the fact that in which environment they are growing up, how about their food nutrients, are they from nuclear or joint family, how many siblings they have, what's the socio economic growth rate of the region, and most importantly how about their families financial conditions? For instance if a child do not get enough food at the early stages of their life, their physical and mental growth will be disturbed in the long run. Hence, only motivation won't work for them. What if that child born in a deep forest of Amazon? Will he be able to be a formula one driver? I don't think so.

After discussing both perspectives from my point of view i would like to say that this essay conveys enough instances to prove that motivation is not enough to accomplish anything by a child.

To sum up, i would like to say that there are some advantages in encouraging children to pursue their dreams, but to ignite the spark of motivation within themselves a lot thing needed to be consider.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The first body paragraph relies on a slightly simplistic example regarding a 'go-cart' and 'formula one driver,' which lacks depth. The second paragraph attempts to address the disadvantages by listing various socio-economic factors, but the list is somewhat disjointed and repetitive. While a position is stated, the conclusion is a bit weak and does not fully synthesize the arguments presented. To improve, ensure that each point is supported by a more logical and cohesive explanation rather than just listing factors or using hypothetical scenarios that are slightly tangential.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a logical progression of ideas. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'To commence with,' 'First and foremost,' and 'To sum up,' though some transitions feel a bit mechanical or repetitive. The referencing is generally clear, although the flow between sentences in the second paragraph is occasionally hindered by the list-like structure of the arguments. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the two sides of the argument. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of cohesive devices and ensuring that the transition between sentences feels more natural and less formulaic.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and sophistication required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and word choice, such as 'highly believed' instead of 'widely believed' and 'devoting themselves for hard work' instead of 'devoting themselves to hard work.' The repetition of 'children' (often used as a singular noun, which is grammatically incorrect) limits the range. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and academic vocabulary, and ensure that you use nouns correctly in terms of number agreement.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'every children,' 'a children get'), incorrect preposition usage, and errors with articles. The use of 'i' instead of the capitalized 'I' is a persistent error throughout the text. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic grammatical accuracy, particularly pluralization and capitalization, will significantly improve the quality of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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