Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the contemporary era it is highly believed that every child should be motivated enough to achieve their desires by devoting themselves to hard work. It varies from person to person, and people have their distinct opinions. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my own. However, i strongly believe that the demerits outweigh the merits.

To commence with the first notion, there are so many things to be shared in its favor. First and foremost, i would like to talk about the willpower of a human being. If a children get enough encouragement from their parents, they become more motivated to achieve anything to satisfy their parents. At the same time it helps them to gain pleasure of something after hard works. Consequently, it boots their confidence. As a result, they don't hesitate to participate in any games. For instance, if a children get a go-cart from their parents to become a formula one driver in the long run, definitely there is a high chance they will become a good driver in the upcoming future. Every children is capable of achieving everything if they get proper guidance and suitable environment.

Going to the second school of thought, there are some people strongly believe that not every child is capable of achieving everything. Because, only encouragement is not enough to achieve anything. There are many reasons to support this argument. Firstly, we have to consider that in which environment they are growing up, how about their food nutrients, are they from nuclear or joint family, how many siblings they have, what's the socio economic growth rate of that region, and most importantly how about their families financial conditions?

For instance, if a child do not get enough food at the early stages of their life, their physical and mental growth will be disturbed in the long run. Hence, only motivation won't work for them. What if that child born in a deep forest of Amazon? Will he be able to become a formula one driver? I don't think so.

After discussing both perspectives from my point of view, i would like to say that this essay conveys enough instances to prove that motivation is not enough to accomplish anything by a child.

To sum up, i would like to say that there are some advantages in encouraging children to pursue their dreams, but to ignite the spark of motivation within themselves a lot things are needed to be consider.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. You have a clear position, stating that the demerits outweigh the merits. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The first body paragraph relies on a slightly simplistic example of a 'go-cart' to represent a complex psychological concept. The second paragraph introduces valid points about socio-economic factors but could be more effectively linked to the core argument of 'motivation' versus 'reality'. While the task is addressed, the arguments could be more sophisticated and better supported to reach a higher band.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices, such as 'To commence with', 'Consequently', and 'To sum up', which help the flow. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly repetitive. Additionally, there are minor issues with referencing and sentence-level cohesion, such as the abrupt transition between the socio-economic factors and the example of the Amazon forest. Overall, the structure is coherent, but the use of cohesive devices could be more natural and varied to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contemporary era', 'socio economic growth', and 'disturbed'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'boots their confidence' (should be 'boosts') and 'a children' (grammatical error affecting lexical accuracy). You attempt to use some less common vocabulary, but the precision is inconsistent. To improve, focus on using collocations correctly and ensuring that word forms are accurate in context. The vocabulary is sufficient to communicate your ideas clearly, but it lacks the sophistication required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors, particularly with subject-verb agreement and pluralization, such as 'if a children get' (should be 'if a child gets') and 'Every children is' (should be 'Every child is'). There are also issues with article usage and prepositional phrases (e.g., 'in the upcoming future'). While these errors do not significantly impede communication, they are frequent enough to prevent a higher score. You should focus on proofreading for basic grammatical consistency, specifically singular/plural agreement and article usage.

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