Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-17

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

In the contemporary era it is highly believed that every child should be motivated enough to achieve their desires by devoting themselves to hard work. It varies from person to person, and people have their distinct opinions. This essay will examine both perspectives before presenting my own stance. However, i strongly believe that the demerits outweigh the merits.

To commence with the first notion, there are so many things to be shared in its favor. First and foremost, i would like to talk about the willpower of a human being. If a child gets enough encouragement from their parents, they tend to become more motivated to achieve anything to satisfy their parents. At the same time it helps them to gain pleasure of hard work . Consequently, it boosts their confidence.

As a result, they don't hesitate to participate in any games.

For instance, if a child get a go-cart from their parents to become a formula one driver in the long run, definitely there is a high chance that they will become a good driver in the upcoming future. Every child is capable of achieving everything if they get proper guidance and suitable environment.

Going to the second school of thought, there are some people strongly believe that not every child is capable of achieving everything. Because, only encouragement is not enough to achieve anything. There are many reasons to support this argument. Firstly, we have to consider in which environment they are growing up, how about their food nutrients, are they from nuclear or joint family, how many siblings they have, what's the socio economic growth rate of that region, and most importantly how about their families financial conditions?

For instance, if a child do not get enough food at the early stages of their life, their physical and mental growth will be disturbed in the long run. Hence, only motivation won't work for them. What if that child born in a deep forest of Amazon? Will he be able to become a formula one driver? I don't think so.

After discussing both perspectives from my point of view, i would like to say that this essay conveys enough instances to prove that motivation is not enough to accomplish anything by a child.

To sum up, i would like to say that there are some advantages in encouraging children to pursue their dreams, but to ignite the spark of motivation within themselves a lot of things are needed to be considered.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The essay addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. You clearly state your position that the disadvantages outweigh the merits. However, the development of ideas is somewhat uneven. The first body paragraph relies on a rather simplistic example (a go-cart) to illustrate a complex psychological concept. The second paragraph is more analytical, listing socio-economic factors, but the rhetorical questions (e.g., 'What if that child born in a deep forest of Amazon?') are slightly informal and detract from the academic tone. To reach a higher band, ensure that your arguments are supported by more sophisticated reasoning rather than hypothetical scenarios that border on the extreme.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is logically organized into clear paragraphs, and there is a progression of ideas from the introduction to the conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'To commence with', 'Consequently', and 'To sum up' to link your thoughts. However, some transitions feel mechanical, and the referencing is occasionally repetitive. For instance, the phrase 'I would like to say' is used twice in the final paragraph, which makes the writing feel slightly redundant. Improving the variety of your linking words and ensuring that each paragraph flows naturally into the next will help improve the overall coherence.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'contemporary era', 'socio-economic', and 'notion'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation. For example, 'gain pleasure of hard work' is unnatural; 'derive satisfaction from hard work' would be more precise. Additionally, the phrase 'in the upcoming future' is redundant, as 'upcoming' and 'future' convey the same meaning. To improve, focus on using more precise collocations and avoiding repetitive or redundant phrasing to enhance the sophistication of your writing.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'if a child get' instead of 'gets') and article usage (e.g., 'in a deep forest of Amazon' should be 'in the deep forests of the Amazon'). Furthermore, the pronoun 'i' is consistently written in lowercase, which is a persistent error. While these errors rarely impede communication, they prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and capitalization rules.

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