Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

Some cultures preach their children that trying hard can help them achieve anything. While it can help children achieve their goals and learn the importance of hard work, it can also make them question their abilities if the likely does not happen.

Children are like a metal, which can be moulded or shaped into anything. As children grow they learn mostly from their parents and surroundings. When from their early lives they are taught to do hard work in order to achieve their desired results and goals, they try and work to make the most out of their capacities.

This approach can help them become resilient and not shy away from hard work. They get to know that in order too achieve something they need to work towards it. For example, if they want a toy and the parents link that certain toy to a house chore or a test score, children will eventually learn that if only they work hard for it they can achieve their needs.

Meanwhile, this teaching can have its disadvantages as well.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 177 words. Consequently, the development of ideas is significantly curtailed. While the introduction identifies both advantages and disadvantages, the essay stops abruptly after introducing the disadvantages section, failing to provide any supporting arguments for that side or a conclusion. This results in a response that is only partially addressed. To improve, you must ensure you fully develop both sides of the argument with specific examples and provide a clear summary or conclusion to satisfy the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay demonstrates a basic level of organization. There is a clear introduction and a body paragraph discussing the advantages. However, the transition to the disadvantages section is incomplete, as the essay ends immediately after the heading. The use of cohesive devices such as 'While', 'As children grow', and 'For example' is generally appropriate, but the lack of a complete structure prevents a higher score. To improve, ensure that each point is fully developed into a complete paragraph and that you use a wider range of linking words to connect your ideas more fluidly.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task, though it lacks the range and precision required for higher bands. Phrases like 'preach their children' (should be 'teach') and 'if the likely does not happen' (should be 'if the desired outcome does not happen') indicate some issues with word choice and collocation. The metaphor 'children are like a metal' is a good attempt at descriptive language, but it is slightly awkward. To improve, focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that your word choices are contextually accurate.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There are several grammatical errors, such as 'preach their children' instead of 'teach their children', 'if the likely does not happen' which is syntactically incorrect, and 'in order too achieve' (spelling error). While these errors do not completely impede communication, they are frequent enough to affect the overall flow. To improve, focus on proofreading for common errors like subject-verb agreement, preposition usage, and spelling, and try to incorporate more varied complex sentence structures with greater accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.