Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-18

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Some cultures preach their children that trying hard can help them achieve anything. While it can help children achieve their goals and learn the importance of hard work, it can also make them question their abilities if the likely does not happen.

Children are like a metal, which can be moulded or shaped into anything. As children grow, they learn mostly from their parents and the surroundings. When from their early lives they are taught to do hard work in order to achieve their desired results and goals, they try and work to make the most out of their capacities. This approach can help them become resilient and not shy away from hard work. For example, if they want a toy and the parents link that certain toy to a house chore or a test score, children will eventually learn that if only they work hard for it they can achieve their desired things.

Meanwhile, this teaching can have its own disadvantages as well. As failures still happen and not everything can be achieved just by hard work. In today`s world students and our younger generation have the highest depression and suicide rates, which are mostly the result of not achieving their desired scores, failing to get into a dream college or the inability to handle the amount of stress our culture and parents can put them in despite their maximum efforts.Therefore, along with teaching them to strive and work hard, we should also make them understand some realities of life and that not everything can be achieved by hard work alone.

Overall, while it is important to make our younger generation understand the importance and value of hard work, unnecessary pressure can make them underestimate the tragedies of life.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are generally well-developed. For instance, the discussion on the psychological impact of failure on the younger generation is a strong, relevant point. However, the essay could be improved by providing more nuanced examples; the example of a child wanting a toy is somewhat simplistic for an academic task. To reach a higher band, ensure that the arguments are fully extended with more sophisticated reasoning rather than relying on general statements. Overall, the task is addressed adequately.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages from the disadvantages. Cohesive devices such as 'While', 'Meanwhile', and 'Therefore' are used to link ideas, although some transitions feel slightly mechanical. The progression of ideas is generally smooth, though the connection between the 'metal' metaphor in the second paragraph and the rest of the argument is a bit tenuous. Overall, the structure is clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The range of vocabulary is adequate for the task. You use some good phrases like 'shy away from hard work' and 'strive and work hard'. However, there are some minor inaccuracies in word choice, such as 'preach their children' (should be 'teach') and 'the likely does not happen' (should be 'the desired outcome does not happen'). The vocabulary is generally functional but lacks the precision and sophistication required for higher bands. Expanding your repertoire of academic collocations would significantly improve your score.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical errors, such as 'Children are like a metal' (should be 'like metal') and 'the highest depression and suicide rates' (should be 'high rates of depression'). Punctuation is generally correct, though there is a minor error with the backtick symbol in 'today`s'. The majority of sentences are understandable, but the frequency of minor errors prevents a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage will help improve accuracy.

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