Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In most of the societies, it is prevalent to portray a message to infants to put more effort to attain anything, which is quite significant for a child nourishment in order to survive more confidently. It has noticeable pros and cons, which will be discussed before reaching any conclusion. By keeping the reasons, i agree with its side of benefits.

Firstly, Most of the societal systems focus over the significance of a pattern in which a child must be resilient, This is because, if a person works hard then he or she would compatible to modern requirements. The perfect illustration of this is, Ronaldo, who is a famous player around the world, he told regarding his struggle in BBC news on May 10th, 2023, which showed his hard work and consistency, which driven by the prevailing environment in which he grew up. Moreover, having more knowledge about anything can enable a child to fulfil his or her ambitions. That is the reason, which helps to support that side.

On the disadvantageous side of it, depression is very predominant in contemporary times, which elevates burden for a up-growing individual to cope up with complex situations with anxiety, which could be possible by societal pressure. Having said that, it affects not only mental health as well as physical health, which is quite harmful for a proper growth. Therefore, it is imperative to emphasise overall well-being of new generation, otherwise it can impact negatively.

In conclusion, to pass a message of hard work is quite common in some communities, which results in some positive and negative outcomes, which are noticeable in today's world. Although, it has some affirmative affects, but we must consider its dark side. Due to this, I prefer hard work is the backbone of a developed and prosperous society.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention resilience and ambition as advantages, the explanation remains brief. Similarly, the disadvantage regarding mental health is introduced but lacks a deep exploration of how this specific message causes such pressure. The position is clear throughout, but the arguments would benefit from more detailed elaboration to reach a higher band. The conclusion is a bit repetitive, restating the prompt rather than synthesising the main points effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organised into logical paragraphs, each with a clear focus. You use some cohesive devices such as 'Firstly', 'Moreover', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader. However, some transitions feel mechanical or slightly awkward, such as 'By keeping the reasons, i agree with its side of benefits.' Additionally, the referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. The paragraphing is appropriate, but the internal cohesion within the second paragraph is slightly disjointed due to the abrupt transition to the example of Ronaldo.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.0

You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, including terms like 'resilient', 'imperative', and 'pros and cons'. However, there are several instances of awkward word choice and collocation errors, such as 'child nourishment' (instead of 'child development' or 'upbringing') and 'pass a message' (instead of 'convey a message'). Some phrases are slightly unnatural, such as 'cope up with' (should be 'cope with'). While the vocabulary is sufficient to convey your meaning, it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You attempt a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. However, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include 'In most of the societies' (should be 'In most societies'), 'he would compatible' (missing 'be'), and 'it affects not only mental health as well as physical health' (incorrect correlative conjunction structure). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma splices and run-on sentences. While the meaning is generally clear, the frequency of these errors limits the score.

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