Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-19
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In few cultures, children are often encouraged by saying they can achieve anything if they do hard work enough. This essay will discuss pros and cons of passing this message to the children.
Giving positive message to the children is extremely necessary in order to motivate them to achieve something big in life. By conveying this kind of information or message to the children we can encourage them for their hobbies and interest. As a result they get fuel to do more labor and aim for something big. Teenagers are not mature enough to register every single piece of information, sometimes they need guidance of elder. since, this kind of encouragement or guidance from elderly people can be extremely useful for them. Moreover, it assist them to go for more better result then previous one.
On the other hand, there are few disadvantages of this message as well. For instance, children might get interested in some illegal activities, such as addiction of drugs and many more. Saying everything is possible to immature child can be very risky too. Basically, every single statement or task has its own pros and cons like a coin has it's two sides and we have to be wise while doing something which might have negative outcome as well.
In conclusion, encouraging children can be positive and effective for their mindset but on the other side there few disadvantages of it such as they might feel pressure to obtain good marks in exams. sometimes motivation can turn into pressure as well.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt, though the development of ideas is somewhat superficial. While you mention motivation as an advantage and potential pressure or risky behavior as disadvantages, the arguments lack depth and specific examples. For instance, the link between telling a child 'anything is possible' and them engaging in 'illegal activities' is not logically explained or supported. To improve, ensure that each point is fully extended with clear reasoning or illustrative examples. Your position is generally clear, but the essay would benefit from a more structured approach to balancing the pros and cons.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or slightly inaccurate. For example, 'since, this kind of encouragement' is used incorrectly at the start of a sentence, and the transition 'on the other side' is repetitive. While there is a logical progression from advantages to disadvantages, the flow between sentences is sometimes disjointed. To reach a higher band, focus on using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that referencing (e.g., 'this message') clearly points back to the intended antecedent.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. You rely on basic phrasing such as 'do hard work enough' and 'something big'. There are also some awkward collocations, such as 'addiction of drugs' (should be 'drug addiction') and 'more better result' (which is grammatically incorrect). To improve, try to incorporate more sophisticated vocabulary related to child development and psychology, and pay closer attention to standard collocations to ensure your writing sounds more natural and academic.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The response contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'In few cultures' (should be 'In a few cultures'), 'it assist them' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'it's two sides' (incorrect use of apostrophe). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While the meaning is generally conveyed, the frequency of these errors prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and article usage to improve your accuracy.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.