Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 4.5)

In world their are some community are exist they belief that if the children can achieve with the hardwork they fear of telling their parents because they know their is no anyone care of there score. The benefits and breakdowns are in the following paragraph and giving message to children.

One of the main advantages is that it encourage childrens to develope the positive attitude toward the learning and personal growth . When children believe that hard work can help them suceess, they become more confident . As a result they are more likely to continue the studies and learning.

Another message that teacher can giving the appreciation to the childrens on their achievements

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0

The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, reaching only 114 words. Consequently, the task is only partially addressed. The ideas presented are underdeveloped and lack the necessary depth and support required for an academic essay. The introduction is confusing and does not clearly outline the advantages and disadvantages as requested by the prompt. The essay stops abruptly, failing to provide a conclusion or a balanced discussion of the disadvantages. Due to the significant under-length and lack of development, the response is severely limited in its ability to address the task requirements.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 4.5

The essay shows some attempt at paragraphing, but the logical progression is weak. The introduction is disjointed, making it difficult to follow the writer's intent. Cohesive devices are largely absent or misused, such as the awkward transition 'The benefits and breakdowns are in the following paragraph'. The lack of a clear structure and the incomplete nature of the response mean that ideas are not arranged coherently. The referencing is often unclear, particularly in the opening sentence, which hinders the reader's ability to follow the argument.

Lexical Resource — Band 4.5

The vocabulary is very limited and often inaccurate. There are frequent errors in word choice and spelling, such as 'breakdowns' (likely meant 'drawbacks'), 'suceess' (success), and 'develope' (develop). The range of vocabulary is insufficient to express complex ideas, relying on basic and repetitive language. The errors in word formation and spelling are frequent and occasionally impede the reader's understanding of the intended meaning.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.0

The grammatical range is very limited, consisting mainly of simple sentence structures with frequent errors. There are significant issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'community are exist'), article usage, and sentence construction. Many sentences are grammatically incomplete or incoherent, such as 'Another message that teacher can giving the appreciation to the childrens on their achievements'. These frequent errors in basic grammar and punctuation significantly strain the reader and distort the intended meaning of the text.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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