Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-19

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 7.0)

According to some cultures, children are always motivated to strive hard in order to get whatever they desire. While this can be advantageous, it can have several drawbacks.

The primary advantage for this development is that it shapes children into responsible people in society since they are trained to work on their own to ensure that they achieve exemlplary results. For instance, primary school students in most schools are often advised to put more efforts in their studies so that they can have a brighter future in the long run. As a result, these young students eventually become hadrworking adults in their future. Moreover, these children tend to be creative people as they are trained during their early life to work hard in finding what they desire. They will employ critical thinking in whatever they do in pursuit of success and eventually, as they grow they will be competent in the world of work since they had gained problem solving skills in their childhood.

Nevertheless, children can apply the advice given to them by becoming insensitive and less flexible. They may go an extra mile and harm others in the process of pursuing their goals by hook or crook. Thus they become less tolerant to others around them and in the long run, their peers end up being psychologically tortured.However, this can be mitigated if children are advised to exercise self-control in situations where their colleagues rights may be infringed.

In conclusion, as kids are advised to work hard to achieve their desired goals it breeds creative and responsible beings in the future. However, they should be trained to do so with caution and ensure they are versatileto avoid posing a threat to those around them.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are generally well-developed. For instance, you effectively link the concept of hard work to long-term professional competence and creativity. The disadvantages section introduces a relevant point regarding the potential for insensitivity and unethical behavior. While the ideas are relevant, some points could be further extended with more specific examples beyond the general mention of 'primary school students' to reach a higher band. Overall, the task is fully addressed with a consistent viewpoint.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. You use cohesive devices such as 'The primary advantage', 'Moreover', 'Nevertheless', and 'In conclusion' to guide the reader through your argument. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages from the disadvantages. However, the flow between sentences is occasionally slightly mechanical. For example, the transition between the discussion of creativity and the shift to the disadvantages could be smoother. Despite this, the progression of ideas is logical and easy to follow throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a sufficient range of vocabulary to discuss the topic with some precision. Phrases like 'exemplary results', 'critical thinking', and 'psychologically tortured' show a good command of language. However, there are some minor spelling errors, such as 'exemlplary' and 'hadrworking', and a missing space in 'versatileto'. While these do not impede communication, they prevent the essay from reaching a higher band. To improve, focus on using more sophisticated collocations and ensuring accuracy in spelling when using less common lexical items.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. You successfully employ complex sentences, such as 'While this can be advantageous, it can have several drawbacks.' There are some minor grammatical slips, such as 'in their future' (which is slightly redundant) and 'colleagues rights' (missing an apostrophe). The majority of your sentences are clear and error-free, and the errors present do not cause any difficulty for the reader. To improve, aim for more variety in your complex structures and ensure consistent attention to punctuation, particularly possessive apostrophes.

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