Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-20

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

For young people, few things are more crucial than achieving almost everything , when are not give up. In many developed and developing countries, a substantial amount of money and extracurricular is allocated to student's improvements,as their often necessitates the use of various resources,such as modern classroom, materials, advance technology, skilled teachers , and so on.Nowadays, many would agree that contemporary society has transcended its traditional boundaries and is becoming increasingly focused on their goals. Nevertheless, I firmly believe that although children win anything when they are get proper guidelines and motivations because teenagers are emotionally connected.

Naturally, achieve anything with hard work in the form of build strong motivation and resilience, providing indispensable opportunities such as, strong mindset, beneficial outcome, without give up any task which is always not possible any massage or motivation.Moreover,a strong massage demonstrates unparalleled benefits for almost every conceivable stage ,from young age to older ages.Since young individuals seek encouragement and motivation through parents, teacher and brothers , ample investment in knowledge gatherings is imperative enhance education ,promote innovation. If this approach adopted by young people, they are stand to benefits significantly.For instance, Japan and China emerged as a pivotal model for motivation in any difficulties period , delivering a beneficial result for their students.

Under certain circumstances ,however, Children may shy away for try hard anything a range of challenges,including lack of proper support ,excessive pressure ,fear of failure, health crises,adverse environment conditions, technological barriers , and so on.While a motivation widely embraced in many major cities worldwide,young people

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response attempts to address the prompt but struggles with clarity and focus. While you identify some advantages, such as motivation and resilience, the discussion of disadvantages is incomplete and ends abruptly. The introduction is somewhat disconnected from the core prompt, focusing on educational resources rather than the psychological impact of the message itself. To improve, ensure that each paragraph directly addresses the prompt's question about advantages and disadvantages. Your position is present but lacks the depth required for a higher band, as the arguments are often obscured by unclear phrasing and a lack of logical development.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay is divided into paragraphs, but the logical flow is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and grammatical errors. While some cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'Moreover', 'For instance'), they are often applied in ways that do not effectively link ideas. The progression of arguments is difficult to follow, particularly in the final paragraph, which is incomplete. To improve, focus on using clear topic sentences for each paragraph and ensure that your supporting ideas follow a logical sequence. Avoid using complex connectors if you are not yet confident in their placement, as this can make the text feel mechanical.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

Your vocabulary is somewhat limited and often imprecise. There are several instances of incorrect word choice, such as 'knowledge gatherings' instead of 'educational opportunities' and 'massage' instead of 'message'. These errors occasionally make it difficult for the reader to grasp your intended meaning. While you attempt to use some academic vocabulary, the lack of control over collocation and word form restricts your score. Focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that you use words in their correct grammatical context to improve your precision and range.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that impede communication. There are significant issues with sentence structure, such as 'when are not give up' and 'if this approach adopted by young people, they are stand to benefits'. Subject-verb agreement, article usage, and verb tense consistency are problematic throughout the text. While you attempt some complex structures, they are often faulty, leading to confusion. To improve, prioritize mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like missing auxiliary verbs or incorrect verb forms before attempting more complex, multi-clause sentences.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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