Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In some countries, there is a advice for the children regarding hard work. They would find themselves as a fruitful man if they work hard and also pursue anything which they desire.
This statement has a large number of advantages and drawbacks on the children, I shall explain it with a suitable reason and also draw a conclusion for it.
There are a large number of advantages prevailing in some cultures regarding the hard work. Some people compel their children to work hard to fulfil their dreams and they also give testimonials of successful people which are belong to their society and they work hard and pursue something.
Secondly, there are also some drawbacks to advice their children about hard work rather then the smart work and happiness. It would be harmful for the children to teach this type of theory because when they struggle to achieve something, they pay their whole concentration and are not mere lose their overall well being but also create stressful ecosystems for them. A prime instance is my cousin whom parents compelled him to pass the 10 class exams and when he was struggling for the exams day and night, he spoiled his overall well being and also got a failure at the end. Furthermore, he enforce himself into stress and nowadays he becomes a patient. It was the outcome of this advice which was given by his parents.
To put in brief, It is necessary for the parents to compel their children to the smart work rather than the hard work. They should teach about to find happiness rather than pay their attention to achieve anything.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages. However, the development is uneven. The advantages section is quite brief and lacks specific detail, while the disadvantages section is more developed but relies heavily on a single personal anecdote. The position is clear, but the overall argument lacks the depth required for a higher band. To improve, you should provide more balanced, generalized arguments for both sides rather than relying on a single personal example, which limits the scope of your analysis.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is sometimes disjointed. While you use some cohesive devices like 'Secondly' and 'Furthermore', others are used incorrectly or awkwardly, such as 'To put in brief'. The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the transition between the introduction and the body paragraphs is abrupt. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would significantly enhance the flow and logical progression of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and variety needed for a higher score. There are several instances of awkward phrasing and incorrect word choices, such as 'fruitful man', 'compel their children to the smart work', and 'spoiled his overall well being'. These errors occasionally impede the clarity of your message. You should focus on learning collocations and using more academic vocabulary to express complex ideas more naturally.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors throughout. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('he enforce himself'), incorrect article usage ('there is a advice'), and awkward sentence construction ('which are belong to their society'). While the meaning is generally understandable, these persistent errors in basic grammar and punctuation affect the overall readability of the text. Focusing on sentence structure and proofreading for basic errors will help improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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