Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 7.0)

In some cultures, children are encouraged to believe that they can achieve anything as long as they work hard enough. Although this message may motivate kids to be ambitious and persistent, it may also create unrealistic expectations about what they can accomplish. This essay will discuss both the advantages and disadvantages of this approach.

One major advantage of giving this message to young children is that they could be encouraged to work hard and to achieve their goals and thereby adopt an ambitious mindset to put forth their best effort consistently. This approach can also help students find flaws and mistakes in the areas where they're going wrong, preventing them from getting the expected result. For example, a student who is struggling in mathematics may continue practising and solving various questions rather than giving up. This is called the Try and Resolve method in studies. As a result, this kind of approach may push them to be independent and willing to take on challenges in their studies and careers.

However, telling children that they can achieve anything through hard work can also have negative consequences. In reality, success depends on many factors, such as financial circumstances, natural abilities, opportunities and external factors. Children may feel disappointed if they fail in a certain area that they've worked very hard on, which took a lot of time and effort, but in the end they could not get the result they have worked for. For instance, a child who wants to be a professional athlete but may not have the physical ability or the money to afford gyms or training programs because of financial instability. Such experiences can lead to frustration, low self-esteem, and unnecessary pressure.

In conclusion, encouraging children to believe that hard work can help them achieve their goals and develop perseverance. Nevertheless, it is important for parents and teachers to teach their kids that hard work alone does not give the result but also they need to find their individual abilities and have a positive mindset if they fail.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, providing a clear discussion of both advantages and disadvantages. The position is consistent throughout the essay. Ideas are well-developed, particularly the example regarding the professional athlete, which effectively illustrates the potential for frustration. The introduction and conclusion are clear, though the conclusion is slightly grammatically incomplete. Overall, the response is well-focused and meets the requirements of the task effectively.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.0

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages from the disadvantages. Cohesive devices such as 'Although', 'One major advantage', 'However', and 'In conclusion' are used effectively to guide the reader. While the flow is generally smooth, some transitions could be more sophisticated to move beyond basic linking words. The referencing is clear, and the structure supports the development of the argument well.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

The vocabulary is sufficient for the task, allowing for some precision. Phrases like 'ambitious mindset', 'financial instability', and 'unrealistic expectations' demonstrate a good grasp of topic-specific language. There are occasional minor inaccuracies, such as 'Try and Resolve method' which sounds slightly unnatural, and the phrasing in the conclusion is a bit repetitive. However, the range is adequate to convey complex ideas clearly without impeding communication.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5

The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. There is good control over basic grammar, though some errors persist. For instance, the final sentence is grammatically incomplete: 'hard work alone does not give the result but also they need to find...'. Additionally, there are minor issues with article usage and verb agreement. Despite these errors, the meaning remains clear throughout, and the complexity of the sentences is sufficient for a solid band 6.5 or 7.0.

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