Band 7.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 7.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-21

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 7.0)

In several cultures worldwide including my own, there is one particular message that plagues our childhoods often uttered by adults and elders. They constantly tell their children that if they truly put in the hard work, then anything is achievable. Though this may seem like a harmless, advantageous statement, it also has its downsides as it may lead to the opposite of the desired effect.

Being told to work hard can be a daunting message, but when it is paired with the subsequent ability to achieve anything in life, then it becomes a source of motivation and feeds children's drive. It will motivate kids to work as hard as they can especially if they are passionate and consistent. This is a message I grew up hearing quite frequently in my household, and though I brushed it off initially, I now apply it to my daily life as someone who has many artistic endeavours that I wish to achieve. It also urges children to never stop reaching for the stars, and suggests that everything is possible if you put your mind to it. It can act as a positive message leading to development and great ambitions, fuelling a positive mindset around working and progressing.

Though it may be perceived as a harmless message, telling children to try hard enough may result in them pushing themselves too much due to their great desire to succeed in their endeavours. As always, there are extremes to everything. The child may feel the need to overwork themselves in order to get to the finish line as quickly as possible, leading to overexertion and exhaustion in the process. They'll feel tired and severely burnt out, which may lead to them losing the motivation to keep going and persist. They'll eventually start viewing the act of trying as something associated with a lot of pain and struggle instead a motivating and rewarding act due to how much they have overworked themselves.

In conclusion, though the message of trying and persisting to achieve your goals may have its benefits such as fuelling kids' ambitions and dreams, it may also have an inverse effect leading to exhaustion and burn out if it is taken too literally.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 7.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt effectively. You have a clear position that is maintained throughout the essay. The ideas are well-developed, particularly the discussion on the psychological impact of over-exertion. To reach a higher band, you could provide more specific examples or a broader range of societal contexts to further extend your arguments. The conclusion effectively summarizes your main points, ensuring the task is fully addressed.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 7.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear progression of ideas. Each paragraph has a central theme, and the transition between the advantages and disadvantages is smooth. You use a variety of cohesive devices such as 'though', 'consequently', and 'in addition' effectively. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. The flow is natural, and the relationship between ideas is easy to follow throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 6.5

You demonstrate a good range of vocabulary, using phrases like 'artistic endeavours', 'subsequent ability', and 'overexertion' appropriately. There is an attempt to use less common lexical items, which adds precision to your arguments. While the vocabulary is generally accurate and natural, there are a few instances where word choice could be more sophisticated to reach the highest band. Overall, your lexical range is sufficient to convey complex ideas clearly and with some flexibility.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 7.0

You use a mix of simple and complex sentence structures effectively. Most of your sentences are error-free, and your control over punctuation is generally good. There are minor slips, such as 'instead a motivating' (missing 'of'), but these do not impede communication. Your use of complex structures, such as conditional sentences and relative clauses, is consistent and accurate. To improve, ensure you proofread for small omissions like prepositions to maintain a high level of grammatical precision.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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