Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In some cultures, if you work hard you can achieve anything you want. children encourage to believe to that hard work leads to success.
if you study or work you want to success they trust only student hard work is key role play want to achieve goals. Furthermore another side drawbacks also there some times hard work don't guarantee to success some failures also comes.
On the firstly, talk about positives in many novels are some writers also tell hard work is role to success if you want to achieve any goal or any thing you want to do huge hard work and easily comes your foot too success. Moreover you want to believe your self trust your soul and also until you getting success you will fight don't give up middle itself and your intention is must and should how to achieve goals For instance, A student who believes hard work brings success may study regularly and also improve their exam results better and also your brain focusing studies and your gain extra knowledge and also general knowledge.
On the Secondly, some drawbacks is also there your doing hard work do not guarantee to success some times students face failures also those time student feel stress furthermore feels low and some students going depression also in rare cases For example, some times students have less opportunities furthermore student study hard but still getting poor results because of difficult circumstances.
In Conclusion, More times hard work gives led to success and also easily your goal achieve furthermore in rare cases only your doing hard work also do not get success because you have less opportunities are sometimes student study hard also fail exam those time you will be want to strong.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is limited. While you mention that hard work leads to success and that failure can cause stress, these points are not fully explored or supported with sophisticated reasoning. The introduction is somewhat disjointed, and the position is not clearly maintained throughout the essay. To improve, ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single, well-developed idea with clear examples that directly relate to the prompt. The conclusion repeats the points made earlier rather than synthesising them effectively.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which is a positive step. However, the logical flow is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and a lack of cohesive devices. You rely heavily on repetitive transitions like 'furthermore' and 'also', which are often used incorrectly or in a mechanical way. The referencing is sometimes unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the progression of your argument. To improve, focus on using a wider variety of linking words (e.g., 'consequently', 'nevertheless', 'in contrast') and ensure that each sentence flows naturally into the next.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is quite limited and often repetitive. There are several instances of word-choice errors, such as 'middle itself' and 'intention is must and should', which impede clarity. You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle to express complex ideas precisely. To reach a higher band, you should aim to use more academic collocations and precise terminology related to the topic of success and personal development. Avoid using informal or fragmented phrases and focus on building a more varied range of vocabulary to express your thoughts more accurately.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often make sentences difficult to understand. Issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'children encourage to believe'), incorrect verb tenses, and fragmented sentence structures. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the ones attempted are often inaccurate. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with many run-on sentences. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction—ensuring every sentence has a clear subject and verb—before attempting more complex structures. Proofreading for basic errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms will significantly improve your score.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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