Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-21
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Nowadays in some cultures , kids are often told that they can achieve if they work hard . The advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message .
To begin with, It is often argue that some cultures believe that giving and advice to children for working hard will often leads to a particularly milestone . They are some advantages for instance in Russia many parents teach their children to do hard work and achieve some personal milestone in their life for instance it can be to become a successful businessman, Cricketer , Footballer , Actor and many more . Hence , the word discipline and hard work play an siginificant role in children career.
Moving forward, there are some disadvantages also which often leads to bad impact on children career for instance in India doing work hard in early age like a labour which means hard physical or mental work will often leads to a crime in India as a child labour section.
In conclusion , I conclude that working hard at early age will leads to create a lots of problems and difficulties for children whereas sometimes it can be limited but not all the time , sometimes working hard can results in excellent performance but mainly at this age children should enjoy and should have a good moments in life they should play in gardens and run in playground which create a sense of happiness for them . In addition they should laugh as much as they .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt but lacks depth. While you identify advantages (personal milestones) and disadvantages (child labor), the development is superficial. The argument regarding child labor in India is a misunderstanding of the prompt, which focuses on the psychological message of 'hard work' rather than illegal employment. The position is somewhat unclear, as the conclusion shifts focus to the importance of play rather than directly weighing the message of hard work. To improve, ensure your ideas are directly relevant to the prompt and provide more nuanced explanations for both sides of the argument.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the flow is often disjointed. While you use transition signals like 'To begin with' and 'Moving forward', the logical progression within paragraphs is weak. For example, the transition from discussing personal milestones to the concept of child labor is abrupt and lacks a clear logical link. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the use of cohesive devices is mechanical rather than fluid. To improve, focus on linking sentences more naturally and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear, singular focus that supports your overall argument.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and often repetitive. You rely on basic phrasing, such as 'do hard work' and 'good moments in life'. There are also issues with word choice and collocation, such as 'giving and advice' (should be 'giving advice') and 'leads to a particularly milestone' (should be 'leads to a particular milestone'). The vocabulary is generally sufficient to convey basic meaning, but it lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. Focus on learning collocations and using more academic synonyms to express your ideas more effectively.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('working hard will leads to', 'it can be limited'), incorrect article usage, and awkward sentence structures. While you attempt some complex sentences, they are often grammatically flawed. Punctuation is also inconsistent, with unnecessary spaces before commas. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and verb tense consistency, before attempting more complex structures. Proofreading for common errors like 'will leads to' versus 'will lead to' is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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