Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

It has widely seen that in some cultures telling children that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. This essay will analyze both the positive and negative aspects.

On a positive note, telling children to try hard enough makes children thinking that if they did not given their 100% in a task. In some cultures, for instance, southern part of India, people are not well educated and the parents and children's relationship is not strong enough to discuss a task or failed achievement. By saying that to try hard gives their children a motivation to do the task again with full preparation.

On the other hand, parents or family friends who say to try hard enough can impact the mental well being of individual. It is a tragic paradox that some people take this statement as a failure, which led them questioning their own hard-work. Youngsters can face massive mental stress when families do not appreciate and understand how hard they tried. As a consequence, juveniles often choose the path to suicide. Moreover, parents should try to understand their children's situation and motivate instead of telling to try hard.

In conclusion, a better approach should be followed by adults to motivate the youngsters comparatively to telling them do better. A positive message can make a huge difference which is good for mental stability and better outcome to achieve anything in life. Thus, negative impacts definitely outweigh the positive impressions.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt, but the development is inconsistent. The word count is below the 250-word minimum, which negatively impacts the depth of the argument. While the position is clear, the explanation of the advantages is somewhat confusing, particularly the example regarding southern India, which lacks clarity and relevance to the core argument. The disadvantages are better developed, but the overall response feels rushed and lacks the necessary elaboration to reach a higher band. To improve, ensure each point is fully explained with clear, logical supporting evidence and meet the minimum word count requirement.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into paragraphs, and there is a basic attempt at logical progression. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the transition 'On a positive note' followed by a sentence that is grammatically incomplete and difficult to follow. Referencing is sometimes unclear, and the flow between ideas is occasionally disjointed. While the paragraphing is present, the internal structure of the paragraphs needs more careful construction to ensure that ideas are linked smoothly and logically. Improving the variety and accuracy of linking words will help the reader follow your argument more easily.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for higher bands. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'It has widely seen' and 'failed achievement,' which hinder the natural flow of the text. The student attempts to use some less common vocabulary, but these attempts are often imprecise or incorrectly collocated. To improve, focus on learning common collocations and ensuring that words are used in their correct grammatical context. Expanding your range of academic vocabulary and using it more accurately will significantly improve your score in this criterion.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Examples include 'makes children thinking that if they did not given their 100%' and 'which led them questioning.' These errors in verb tense, sentence construction, and word form are noticeable throughout the text. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence structure, subject-verb agreement, and correct verb forms will help reduce these errors and improve the overall clarity of your writing.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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