Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-22

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

If we go through history we will see that their has been a lot of cultures and civilization in the past. Starting from Eastern culture and to end on Western culture . Each culture has its own advantages and disadvantages. Somethings that are legal in one culture are taboo, banned and are illegal in other culture. For example , in Afghan culture women wearing short clothes are banned but in British culture it is legal and is in practice. So if some culture tell their children that you can do and achieve anything in the world by doing hard work . It means that they tell them that ythey can achieve whatever they want to , whether they want to become the President of United states of America , or build an business empire like SPACEX of Elon Musk it can be possible by doing enough hard work which the reward demands. It will ultimately help the next young generation to think out of the matrix and to set their goals as high as they want . It gives them support, confidence and ability to do something that is unusual like this vision help Alexander the great to conquered the world. It will help the nations to built from scratch. But, we have to be careful that the innocent mind of the children will not get the perspective that they can do illegal, criminal or harmful things easily by doing enough hard work . We should guide them to draw a line between good or bad , legal and illegal.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages. However, the introduction is overly long and tangential, focusing on cultural differences rather than the specific message given to children. The development of ideas is somewhat superficial; while you mention confidence and ambition as advantages, the explanation of disadvantages is brief and lacks depth. To improve, ensure that the introduction is concise and that each body paragraph provides a balanced, well-supported argument directly related to the prompt. The conclusion is abrupt and does not fully synthesize the points made.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0

The essay lacks a clear structure. It is written as one large block of text, which makes it difficult to follow the progression of ideas. Paragraphing is essential in IELTS writing to separate distinct points, such as advantages and disadvantages. While some cohesive devices are used (e.g., 'For example', 'But'), they are often used mechanically or incorrectly. The flow between the initial cultural discussion and the core topic is disjointed. To improve, use clear paragraph breaks and a wider variety of linking words to connect sentences and ideas more naturally.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and sophistication required for a higher band. There are several instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'to end on Western culture' and 'think out of the matrix'. Some word choices are imprecise, such as 'built from scratch' when referring to nations. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, the overall range is limited. Focus on learning collocations and using more academic, precise terminology to express your ideas more effectively.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

There are frequent grammatical errors throughout the text that occasionally impede readability. Common issues include subject-verb agreement ('their has been', 'some culture tell'), article usage ('the President of United states'), and sentence structure (run-on sentences and fragments). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma placement. While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, these are often marred by errors. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like pluralization and verb tense consistency.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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