Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.0)
Parents are advicing frequently to childrens that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. This message has affect in both positive and negative ways. This essay will discuss both the views of advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message in forth-coming paragraph with innovative ideas.
As far as Advantages of giving message to children is concerned, It has become mandatory for parents to giving good lessons to their childrens for their better future. If childrens follow the instructions or message of their parents so they can be able to acheive their goals and they can get success in the future. Parents are tend to think best for their childrens so children could not obey their rules. If parents are behave like friends with their children to teach the good lessons, so childrens can easily understand their lessons and remember all the time. But the message which is given to the childrens have bad impacts also which is ellaborate in further paragraph.
Talking about Disadvantages of giving message to childrens, It have evitable that many times parents used to pressurize the children for hard-working. As a result, children can get traumatised by their parents and done illegal work like smoking, drinking alcohol, chewing saffron and many times they attempt to suicide for avoid their parent's expectation. If the nature of house can be distribed or noisy, then also they can take a step of robbery the bank, done murder of someone and do illegal things.
In Conclusion, The advantages of this essay has taken outweigh the disadvantages. "Every Child have different prespect but if parents do not understand the prespect then the child goes on wrong path".
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The essay addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is limited and at times illogical. For instance, the claim that parental pressure leads to 'robbery the bank' or 'murder' is extreme and lacks a logical connection to the prompt, which weakens the overall argument. The position is stated in the introduction but the conclusion is somewhat disconnected from the body paragraphs. To improve, you should focus on providing realistic, well-supported arguments rather than hyperbolic scenarios.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow between and within them is often disjointed. The use of cohesive devices is mechanical and sometimes incorrect, such as 'But the message which is given to the childrens have bad impacts also which is ellaborate in further paragraph.' The referencing is occasionally unclear, and the logical progression of ideas is hindered by the lack of smooth transitions. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary range is limited and repetitive. There are frequent errors in word choice and word formation, such as 'advicing' instead of 'advising', 'childrens' (which is incorrect as children is already plural), and 'prespect' instead of 'perspective'. Some collocations are unnatural, such as 'done illegal work' or 'take a step of robbery'. To reach a higher band, you need to focus on using more precise vocabulary and ensuring correct word forms, while also expanding your range to include more academic terminology.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'It have evitable', 'Every Child have'), incorrect verb forms (e.g., 'parents to giving'), and sentence structure. Complex sentence attempts are often faulty, leading to run-on sentences or fragments. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of basic errors in tense, pluralisation, and sentence construction prevents the essay from reaching a higher band. Focusing on basic sentence structure and proofreading for common errors is essential.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.