Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.0)
In recent years, study has become increasingly common all over the world. This development offers several benefits; however, it has also certain drawbacks.
One major advantage of that children, will achieve anything if they can do because motivation is the most important in the life. Children can achieve anything if they are resilience of the study and the goal of the life. Furthermore, in a life without efforts there will be nothing in the world and achievement will be gain always in efforts. For instance, if one person do not prepare the exam and they will be fail but they are consistent to get high grades in the exam and after that they will be achieved in good marks because they want to accomplished high grades they put efforts and fulfilled the goal.
Despite the benefits, there are some disadvantages. The major drawback is that stress and demotivation in life. If you loose confidence you will cannot achieve anything in the world because you will be in stress mood and your brain will be not working. Sometimes the students will be demotivation of our progress in life this is the main drawback of the study. If one person demotivated in our life they will be cannot achieve the things in the world because you can do motivate ourself and think positive on the things. For example, in sometimes children blame ourselves they might think failure is own fault and I cannot fulfilled the things in the life but your aim will be won to do anything in the life you can try hard and get everything.
In conclusion, while study has some negative aspects, its benefits outweigh the disadvantages.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 5.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response addresses the prompt by discussing both advantages and disadvantages. However, the development of ideas is limited and often repetitive. For example, the argument regarding 'motivation' is circular, and the explanation of the disadvantages is hindered by unclear phrasing, such as 'your brain will be not working'. While the position is generally clear, the supporting points lack depth and logical progression, often relying on vague assertions rather than well-developed examples. To improve, focus on providing specific, concrete scenarios that illustrate the psychological impact of this message on children, rather than repeating the same general concepts.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay is organised into paragraphs, but the flow of ideas is frequently interrupted by awkward phrasing and a lack of clear logical transitions. While some cohesive devices like 'Furthermore' and 'In conclusion' are used, they are often applied mechanically or incorrectly, such as the transition into the second paragraph. Referencing is also problematic; for instance, the use of 'that' and 'this' often lacks a clear antecedent, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. The progression of ideas is disjointed, which impacts the overall readability of the response.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic words like 'achieve', 'life', and 'things'. There are frequent errors in word choice and collocation, such as 'resilience of the study' instead of 'resilience in their studies' and 'achievement will be gain' instead of 'achievement will be gained'. The student attempts to use more complex terms like 'demotivation' and 'consistent', but these are often used incorrectly in context. To reach a higher band, you should focus on learning collocations and using a wider variety of precise vocabulary to express abstract concepts.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('one person do not prepare'), tense usage ('they will be achieved'), and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, making the meaning unclear. For example, 'If one person demotivated in our life they will be cannot achieve the things' contains multiple errors in structure and modal usage. While there is an attempt to use complex sentences, they are almost always faulty. A focus on mastering basic sentence construction and subject-verb agreement is essential before attempting more complex structures.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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