Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
It is believed by certain communities in a society that a child can achieve everything if he is working hard.It is true to some extent but only hard work is not the base for long-term success. Smartwork is more important for fulfulling someone's dream. Here, I will give details about the advantages and disadvantages of telling children about this message.
The most common advantages include that child become more focused and determined and have a purpose in life. It allows them to leran something new everyday, and their knowledge increases significantly. Ater trying and failing they know a new advancement which thwy don not know before, so it motivated them to explore more, and ultimately they will be succeeded in achieving a particular goal. For example, if a child tries again and again to make an instrument, he will make it one day by continuous efforts. Therefore, it is beneficial for a child success.
On the other hand, it also has some drawbacks such as they think that they do not have enough potential to do complete a task without any hard work. That leads them to underestimate their inner stamina. So we should tell them about their potential to encourage them to achieve something bigger in their life.
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AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the essay addresses both advantages and disadvantages, the arguments are underdeveloped and lack sufficient depth. The introduction is present, but the body paragraphs are brief and lack the necessary supporting evidence or examples to fully explore the prompt. The conclusion is entirely missing, which is a key component of a balanced essay. To improve, you must expand your points with more detailed explanations and ensure you provide a clear, structured conclusion that summarises your main arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into paragraphs, but the progression of ideas is somewhat disjointed due to the lack of a concluding paragraph. Cohesive devices are used, such as 'The most common advantages include' and 'On the other hand', but they are sometimes used in a mechanical or repetitive way. The referencing is occasionally unclear, particularly in the second paragraph where the flow between the idea of failure and the example of the instrument is abrupt. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would enhance the overall logical flow.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision required for a higher band. There are several spelling errors, such as 'fulfulling', 'leran', and 'thwy', which distract the reader. The word choice is often simplistic; for instance, 'make an instrument' is vague, and 'inner stamina' is an unusual collocation in this context. To achieve a higher score, you should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensure that your spelling is accurate throughout the text.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay uses a mix of simple and some complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede clarity. Examples include 'a child become' (subject-verb agreement), 'they don not know' (typo), and 'they will be succeeded' (incorrect passive voice). Punctuation is also inconsistent, with missing spaces after periods. While the meaning is generally understandable, the frequency of these errors limits the score. You should focus on proofreading for basic subject-verb agreement and ensuring that your verb tenses are used consistently.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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