Band 5.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-23

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.0)

In recent years, self confidence has become increasingly common in many part of the world. Although this development may give rise to certain drawbacks. I beleive that its advantages are outweigh its disadvantages , particularly in the term of choosing a right career and hard working .

The most significant advantage of self confidence is that you can make a good career. This is primarily because children have more knowledge of best career oppurnities. They forced theirself to try hard. As a result, childrens can become a doctor or engineer or any in good profession. A clear example of this can be seen in educated families, where children have self confidence and they know that if we will try hard, we will definitely succeed Therefore, this aspect of self confidence can have a particularly positive impact on students.

Another important benefit is that hard working. One reason is that you can get anything is the world by doing hard work. Not only in education part as well as in practical life. This mean that if we have a beleive and , we can word hard , we can get anything in the world. For instance, if you try enough hard to become a businessman, after some hard working, you will surely become a businessman. Because hard work will never let you down. Consequently, hard working can contribute considerably to Creates discipline, further strengthening the case for self confidence.

In conclusion, while self confidence may have some drawbacks. I believe that these are outweighed by its benefits In particular, its impact on choosing a right career and hard working make it a worthwhile development overall.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.0

The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages of the message, but it fails to adequately address the 'disadvantages' part of the task. While the introduction mentions that there are drawbacks, the body paragraphs focus exclusively on the benefits. The ideas are somewhat repetitive and lack depth, particularly in the second body paragraph, which struggles to clearly explain how the message leads to discipline. To improve, you must dedicate a paragraph to the potential negative consequences of this mindset, such as the risk of disappointment or unrealistic expectations, to ensure a balanced discussion.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into clear paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate. For example, the phrase 'This mean that if we have a beleive and , we can word hard' is disjointed and lacks proper logical flow. Additionally, some transitions are used incorrectly, such as starting a sentence with 'Therefore' without a clear preceding logical link. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring that each sentence flows naturally into the next will significantly enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.0

The vocabulary is limited and repetitive, often relying on basic terms like 'hard working' and 'good'. There are frequent errors in word formation and collocation, such as 'forced theirself', 'in the term of', and 'creates discipline' (capitalized mid-sentence). The range is insufficient to express complex ideas with precision. To reach a higher band, you should focus on learning collocations (e.g., 'achieve one's potential' instead of 'get anything') and ensure you use the correct word forms (e.g., 'hard work' as a noun phrase rather than 'hard working').

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0

The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. Issues include subject-verb agreement ('its advantages are outweigh'), incorrect pronoun usage ('forced theirself'), and sentence fragments or run-on sentences. There is a lack of complex sentence structures, and the punctuation is often misused, particularly with commas and periods. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, ensuring that every sentence has a clear subject and verb, and practicing the correct use of articles and pluralization.

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