Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-23
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 6.0)
In recent years, self-confidence has become increasingly important in many parts of the world. Although this development may give rise to certain drawbacks, I believe that its advantages outweigh its disadvantages, particularly in terms of choosing the right career and developing a strong work ethic.
The most significant advantage of self-confidence is that it can help people make good career choices. This is primarily because confident children are more willing to explore different career opportunities and challenge themselves. As a result, they may become doctors, engineers, or pursue other professional careers. A clear example of this can be seen in educated families, where children are encouraged to be confident and believe that they can succeed if they work hard. Therefore, this aspect of self-confidence can have a particularly positive impact on students.
Another important benefit is that self-confidence can encourage hard work. One reason for this is that people who believe in themselves are more likely to put effort into achieving their goals. This applies not only to education but also to practical life. This means that if people have confidence in their abilities and work hard, they can achieve many of their goals. For instance, if someone works hard to become a successful businessman, their confidence can motivate them to overcome difficulties and continue working towards their ambition. Consequently, self-confidence can contribute considerably to developing discipline and perseverance, further strengthening the case for this positive development.
In conclusion, while self-confidence may have some drawbacks, I believe that these are outweighed by its benefits. In particular, its impact on choosing the right career and encouraging hard work makes it a worthwhile development overall.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 6.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 6.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 6.5 |
| Overall | 6.0 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses the prompt by discussing the advantages of the message, but it fails to adequately address the 'disadvantages' part of the task. While the introduction mentions that the development may have 'certain drawbacks,' the body paragraphs focus exclusively on the benefits. The prompt explicitly asks for both advantages and disadvantages, and by omitting the latter, the response is not fully developed. To reach a higher band, you must provide at least one paragraph detailing the potential negative consequences, such as the risk of disappointment or a lack of resilience if goals are not met despite hard work.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5
The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central topic, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow. You use cohesive devices such as 'As a result,' 'Therefore,' and 'For instance' effectively to link sentences and ideas. However, the transitions between paragraphs could be more sophisticated to improve the flow. The paragraphing is appropriate, and the overall structure supports the argument well, though the lack of a counter-argument paragraph makes the logical development feel slightly one-sided.
Lexical Resource — Band 6.0
You demonstrate an adequate range of vocabulary for the task, using terms like 'perseverance,' 'discipline,' and 'ambition' appropriately. However, the vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, particularly the frequent use of 'self-confidence' and 'hard work.' To improve, try to incorporate more varied synonyms or collocations to express these concepts. For example, instead of repeating 'hard work,' you could use 'diligent effort' or 'tenacity.' The word choice is generally accurate and does not impede communication, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for a higher band score.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 6.5
The essay uses a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. Most sentences are grammatically accurate, and errors are rare and do not hinder understanding. You successfully use conditional structures ('if people have confidence... they can achieve') and relative clauses. To achieve a higher band, you should aim to incorporate a wider variety of complex grammatical structures, such as passive voice or more advanced subordinating conjunctions, to demonstrate greater control. The punctuation is generally correct, and the overall grammatical control is solid.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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