Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

Around some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. By this way of encouraging and motivating their morale, often children put really great efforts in their studies and work to accomplish their goals and fulfil their parents expectations.

This strategy of making a child's mind earlier in the age, that success is really in hard working, this strategy of brainstorming put some children in a great way that they actually starts to think this way and eventually succeed in life. The major advantage linked with this strategy is some unguided under performing children gets lifted up to actually work hard and believe in themselves that they would definitely achieve anything they want if they work hard enough. Such teachings are important in our society but to an extant.

While this strategy has a lot of advantages, but along with that some under performing children might develop a sense of helplessness which creates unnecessary stress upon them, feeling of left behind and they are not working that hard, poor motivation and ends up resulting in poor brain health and loss of morale. Also feeding them only to work hard and never actually check on the ability and talent of some children that they might be good at some sports or other related god gifted skills, thereby some children live a life in mystery on never finding their true potential. The downside of this strategy lead to many students dropping their studies and some may suicide in other circumstances.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. You have identified key points such as increased motivation and potential for success as advantages, and the risk of stress, helplessness, and the neglect of individual talents as disadvantages. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the point about 'god gifted skills' is a strong observation but remains under-developed. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is supported with more specific examples or a deeper explanation of the causal links. Your position is clear, but the overall structure could benefit from a more balanced and thorough exploration of the arguments provided.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.0

The essay is organized into three paragraphs, which is a logical approach. However, the use of cohesive devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate. For instance, the phrase 'By this way of encouraging' is awkward and does not effectively link the ideas. Transitions between sentences are occasionally repetitive, such as the repeated use of 'this strategy'. While there is a clear progression of ideas, the flow is sometimes interrupted by awkward phrasing, which makes the relationship between sentences less smooth. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used naturally would enhance the coherence of your writing.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, but it lacks the precision and flexibility required for higher bands. There are several instances of unnatural word choices or collocations, such as 'making a child's mind earlier in the age' and 'live a life in mystery'. Additionally, the phrase 'god gifted skills' is not standard English; 'innate talents' or 'natural aptitudes' would be more appropriate. While you attempt to use some topic-specific vocabulary, the range is somewhat limited, and some expressions are slightly repetitive or imprecise, which hinders the overall impact of your arguments.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Examples include 'Around some cultures' (should be 'In some cultures'), 'actually starts to think' (subject-verb agreement error), and 'the downside of this strategy lead to' (should be 'leads to'). Punctuation is also inconsistent, particularly with comma usage. While these errors do not completely obscure the meaning, they are frequent enough to suggest a lack of control over more complex grammatical forms. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and standard preposition usage will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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