Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-24
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
There is a great discussion on that in many societies told children to hard work with that they can achieve anything that they willing to have . But i personally doesn't support this behavior of elders because this things might be create more pressure on children , What if they doesn't achieve what they want .
The idea of telling children that if they work hard they can achieve anything but it is not true in my own country India . In India we have a cast based reservation system for education , job's and in many more things. In this system two children are sitting for the comparative exams like UPSC, BANKING and many more government exams now in this exams the selection is not based on you're ability it is based on the merit list or reservation so this one of the most region for India is still a developing country . The deserving person for that post is not selected but the reserve person is selected in this system if a General cast student score 89 marks out of hundred and the reserved student got 60 percent so he is selected in compression to that hard working student ,This all thing make a instability in society.
But there are some positive aspect also like the children are habitual of hard work and be in discipline which is very important in todays world . Then they might be develop some confidence after that hard work .
But the advantages are not outweigh the disadvantage so , I belief that it must not be done .
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt, though the development is uneven. You provide a clear position against the idea, but the discussion of the disadvantages is heavily focused on a specific political critique of the Indian reservation system rather than the general psychological or social implications of the message. While the advantages are mentioned, they are underdeveloped and lack sufficient explanation. To improve, ensure that your arguments are balanced and directly address the prompt's core theme of 'achieving anything through hard work' rather than shifting the focus to specific national policies.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organised into paragraphs, which helps the reader follow the structure. However, the use of cohesive devices is often mechanical or inaccurate, such as the repetitive use of 'But' to start sentences and the awkward transition 'This all thing'. The logical flow between sentences is sometimes interrupted by grammatical errors, making it difficult to follow the progression of your argument. To improve, try using a wider variety of linking words like 'consequently', 'furthermore', or 'on the other hand' to connect your ideas more smoothly and logically.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task but lacks the precision and range required for a higher band. There are several instances of word-choice errors and awkward collocations, such as 'this things might be create' and 'habitual of hard work'. You rely on basic vocabulary and struggle to use less common items effectively. To improve, focus on learning collocations (e.g., 'instill a sense of discipline' instead of 'be in discipline') and ensure you are using words in their correct grammatical form.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement ('this things might be create', 'they doesn't achieve'), article usage, and sentence structure. While you attempt some complex ideas, the execution is often faulty, leading to run-on sentences or fragmented thoughts. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction, specifically subject-verb agreement and the correct use of auxiliary verbs. Proofreading for these fundamental errors will significantly improve the clarity of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
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