Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 5.5)

Children are often by their parents and nearby people that they can achieve anything if they work hard, that's usually very common in many cultures. I totally disagree with this statement.

Now a days, it's usually more important to work smarter not harder. Most work can be done by basic knowledge and common sense you don't have to work very hard to get your work done. For example, you have opened a cosmetic business, and you want to make sure that everyone around the world get to know about your product, one possible way is, you can go door to door or shop to shop to sell your product, other way is, you can easily make a website at home upload your product there with complete description, do marketing on different social media platforms. As a result, you probably get better results by choosing second way.

Somehow, it is also necessary to tell children to work hard, this is also true that you have to work hard in every field to get success. Rather you are in medical field, or engineering you have to work hard to achieve success. For example, if you are studying for MBBS, you definitely have study hard to pass the examination, there is no other shortcut to achieve success. Consequently, hard work is the key to success. Nothing can be achieve in this world without hard work.

So, the conclusion of this topic is that you can achieve anything in your life through hard work, but many things don't always require hard work. My opinion in this matter is that, parents must tell their children when they are in their young age, and when they mature and face the world they somehow came to know that many work can be done smartly.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the message, though the development is somewhat inconsistent. You present a clear position, but the argument regarding 'working smarter' is slightly tangential to the core prompt about the psychological impact of telling children they can achieve anything. The advantages (motivation, necessity of hard work in fields like medicine) are touched upon, but the disadvantages—such as the potential for disappointment or unrealistic expectations—are not explicitly explored. To improve, ensure you directly address the implications of the message itself rather than just debating the value of hard work versus smart work.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5

The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear progression of ideas. You use some cohesive devices like 'For example', 'Consequently', and 'As a result' to link your points. However, the transitions between the introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion are sometimes abrupt. The use of referencing is occasionally mechanical, and some sentences feel disconnected from the main argument. Improving the flow between sentences by using a wider variety of linking words and ensuring that each paragraph has a clear topic sentence would help elevate your score in this area.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

Your vocabulary is generally adequate for the task, allowing you to communicate your ideas clearly. You use some topic-specific terms like 'cosmetic business', 'social media platforms', and 'medical field'. However, the range is somewhat limited, and there are instances of awkward phrasing, such as 'nearby people' instead of 'peers' or 'mentors', and 'young age' instead of 'childhood'. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more precise academic vocabulary and collocations, and avoid repetitive phrasing like 'work hard' or 'achieve success', which appear frequently throughout the text.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors, such as missing verbs ('Children are often by their parents'), subject-verb agreement issues ('many work can be done'), and punctuation errors (comma splices). The sentence 'Rather you are in medical field, or engineering you have to work hard' is grammatically incorrect and lacks proper structure. To improve, focus on mastering basic sentence construction and proofreading for common errors like missing articles and incorrect verb forms. Increasing the variety of complex structures will also help.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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