Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-24

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

It is a widespread belief that hard work can bring success in a person's life. This lesson is taught to children in some cultures. While there are some drawbacks of this trend, I believe merits outweigh the demerits.

There are a number of benefits of teaching children that they can reach their goal by working hard. One possible benefit is that a child can develop many skills such as patience, persistence and perfection in the early stage of their life which can be useful for them in the future. An example of my friend's life experience made me believe this fact more. His parents always told him to work hard in every sector whether it is related to study or sports. Now, he is running a business and reached the peak of success. Furthermore, an individual can achieve his goal by doing hard work, as they have the mindset to do every possible thing to reach their desired destination.

Despite the benefits mentioned above there are some drawbacks too. To begin with, teaching a child to be a hardworking person can cause mental pressure and stress. From the childhood a person has to bear the burden to acheive anything doing their best. If a child fails to achieve this goal after doing hard work, he might lose this hope and confidence. This situation can limit a person's potential. Moreover, some people can become adamant which may engaging in wrongdoing. Therefore, conveying the message to a child this can put their life at stake.

In conclusion, although there are some negative impacts, I believe that a child should be taught that they can be successful by trying hard enough.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. The position is clear from the introduction and maintained throughout. Ideas are relevant, such as the development of persistence as an advantage and the risk of mental pressure as a disadvantage. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For instance, the example of the friend is anecdotal and lacks depth, and the point about children becoming 'adamant' is slightly unclear in its connection to the prompt. To reach a higher band, ensure that each point is fully extended with more analytical depth rather than relying on personal anecdotes.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Paragraphing is used appropriately to separate the advantages and disadvantages. Cohesive devices such as 'Furthermore', 'To begin with', and 'In conclusion' are used to guide the reader. However, some transitions are a bit mechanical, and there are minor issues with referencing, such as in the sentence 'conveying the message to a child this can put their life at stake', where the pronoun reference is slightly awkward. Overall, the progression of ideas is clear and easy to follow.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate for the task. You use some good collocations like 'widespread belief', 'mental pressure', and 'reach the peak of success'. However, there are some inaccuracies in word choice and collocation, such as 'perfection in the early stage' (which is slightly unnatural) and 'may engaging in wrongdoing' (grammatically incorrect). The range is sufficient to convey meaning, but to achieve a higher score, you should aim for more precise and sophisticated vocabulary, avoiding repetitive phrasing like 'hard work' and 'achieve'.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

The essay demonstrates a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is generally clear, there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally distract the reader. Examples include 'From the childhood a person has to bear the burden to acheive anything doing their best' and 'conveying the message to a child this can put their life at stake'. There are also minor spelling errors like 'acheive'. To improve, focus on subject-verb agreement, correct preposition usage, and ensuring that complex sentences are constructed accurately without missing articles or incorrect verb forms.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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