Band 4.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 4.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 4.5)
In various societies children were force by parents and other sides children force parents to do anything for them. So the strict parents are good for child future. Because they know how to live in this world. They only want that their child achieve the world and don't take regret of anything. The advantage is that their child is able to afford his dream projects dream cars and can't feel poor. But he take serious to the life to the work and respect their parents. This type of mentality strong child's mind and the birth the courage to do a thing for their life in one time.
On the other hand we don't ignore that this type of mentality only became when child take a pressure on mind and take life serious. It is really show the improvement and anxiety of child. Because child only take a pressure of that they don't feel his family embarasse in society and relatives. They feel like a burden on them but for their life its mandatory.
The message is only that the child create a dream for their future secure and share with their parents don't hide it because your family take a burden on their shoulders.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 4.0 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.0 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.0 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 4.5 |
| Overall | 4.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 4.0
The response fails to meet the minimum word count requirement of 250 words, which significantly impacts the development of ideas. While the essay attempts to address both advantages and disadvantages, the arguments are underdeveloped and often unclear. For instance, the discussion on 'dream projects' and 'dream cars' is vague and lacks a logical connection to the prompt about the message of hard work. The position is inconsistent, and the lack of depth prevents a full exploration of the topic. To improve, you must expand on your points with specific examples and ensure you meet the minimum length requirement to allow for a comprehensive discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.0
The essay lacks a clear logical progression. While there is an attempt at paragraphing, the transitions between ideas are abrupt and often confusing. For example, the shift from 'strict parents' to 'dream projects' lacks a cohesive link. The use of cohesive devices is limited and often mechanical, such as the repetitive use of 'because' and 'this type of'. The referencing is frequently unclear, making it difficult for the reader to follow the argument. Improving the use of linking words and ensuring each paragraph has a clear, singular focus would greatly enhance the structure of your writing.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.0
The vocabulary range is limited and often inaccurate, which hinders the clarity of your message. Phrases like 'achieve the world' and 'don't take regret' are non-standard and do not convey the intended meaning effectively. There is also a reliance on basic, repetitive vocabulary. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise collocations and academic vocabulary. For example, instead of 'take a pressure', use 'experience pressure' or 'face high expectations'. Expanding your range to include more sophisticated synonyms will help you express your ideas with greater precision and nuance.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 4.5
The essay contains frequent grammatical errors that often impede communication. There are consistent issues with subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'children were force', 'child create a dream'), tense usage, and sentence structure. Many sentences are fragmented or run-on, making them difficult to parse. The range of structures is very limited, consisting mostly of simple sentences with errors in basic syntax. To improve, focus on mastering fundamental sentence construction, including correct verb forms and proper punctuation. Proofreading for basic errors like missing articles and incorrect pluralization will also help improve the overall accuracy of your writing.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.