Band 5.5 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer
Overall Band Score: 5.5 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-25
IELTS Writing Task 2 question
In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?
Student answer (Band 5.5)
In few cultures, children are often told that if they will work hard, they can achieve everything. It has both merits and demerits. This essay will tell about both and my opinion.
On the one hand, first and foremost benefit is boost confidence. If parents and teachers will tell to children that they can achieve everything if they work hard. They will more attention toward their goals and do worked hard. For example. If a student wants to become a doctor. He will do such hardworking that he will achieve his dream. Moreover this message will assist children to face difficulties.
On the other hand, it has some drawbacks. Firstly, If children worked hard and could achieve their goals. They may feel disappoint. In addition, Although success can be got by hard work but it is not fully depend on it. Financially sport, opportunities and confidence too play a crucial role in get success. Besides, If children do work hard yet failed in achieving goals. Although the situation is out of their hands. They may blame themselves.
In my opinion, This is a good message for children. Parents and teachers should not only tell that you can achieve everything with hard work but also give financial support, opportunities and confidence. They are supposed to telling their children that they should work hard but not tell that they can achieve everything with this.
In conclusion, There are many advantages of this statement such as boost confidence, help them to solve difficulties but its disadvantage should not be neglected.
AI examiner evaluation
| Criterion | Band |
|---|---|
| Task Achievement / Task Response | 5.5 |
| Coherence and Cohesion | 5.5 |
| Lexical Resource | 5.5 |
| Grammatical Range and Accuracy | 5.0 |
| Overall | 5.5 |
Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 5.5
The response addresses both the advantages and disadvantages of the prompt. However, the development of ideas is somewhat limited. While you mention 'boost confidence' as an advantage and 'disappointment' or 'external factors' as disadvantages, these points are not fully extended with sufficient depth or nuanced examples. The position is clear, but the argument lacks the sophistication required for a higher band. To improve, ensure that each point is supported by a clear explanation or a more detailed illustration of how these concepts manifest in real-life scenarios for children.
Coherence and Cohesion — Band 5.5
The essay is organized into logical paragraphs, and there is a clear attempt to use cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'On the other hand', and 'In conclusion'. However, the use of these devices is sometimes mechanical or slightly inaccurate, such as starting sentences with 'Although' in a way that creates sentence fragments (e.g., 'Although the situation is out of their hands.'). Referencing is occasionally unclear, and the flow between sentences could be smoother. Improving the variety of linking words and ensuring they are used to connect complete thoughts will enhance the overall coherence.
Lexical Resource — Band 5.5
The vocabulary used is generally adequate for the task but lacks the range and precision needed for a higher score. There are several instances of awkward collocations and word choice errors, such as 'financially sport' (likely meaning financial support) and 'do worked hard'. The vocabulary is somewhat repetitive, relying on basic terms like 'good', 'bad', and 'achieve'. To reach a higher band, you should focus on using more precise academic vocabulary and ensuring that word forms are used correctly in context.
Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.0
The essay contains a mix of simple and complex sentence structures, but there are frequent grammatical errors that occasionally impede the flow of reading. Common issues include subject-verb agreement (e.g., 'first and foremost benefit is boost confidence'), incorrect verb tenses (e.g., 'If parents and teachers will tell'), and punctuation errors. While the meaning is generally understandable, the high frequency of errors in basic grammar prevents the writing from reaching a higher band. Focusing on consistent tense usage and correct sentence construction will be key to improvement.
See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.
Browse more IELTS Writing model answers or get your own writing scored by the same AI examiner.