Band 6.0 IELTS Writing Task 2 Model Answer

Overall Band Score: 6.0 · Cambridge IELTS 15 · 2026-08-25

IELTS Writing Task 2 question

In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this message?

Student answer (Band 6.0)

In today's world, some societies often teach their kids that they can achieve any goal if they put enough hard work. This is certainly true in general but teaching this to your younger ones from early ages do have some positive and negative aspects.

On the one hand, there are number of advantages we may see by giving lessons of hard work to our children from their early ages. It creates a sense of resposibility in the children as they get trained of staying disciplined and motivated. Secondly, these hard work lessons can provide the children with a goal in life which they can focus and learn about from their childhood. For instance, if you teach a kid that he can be a successful businessman in future if he works hard enough, he will be looking for opportunities and gathering information in his mind regarding different business ideas from the beginning which will definitely help him a lot in his future.

On the other hand, there are some disadvantages as well. In some cases, telling the kids to work harder may add an extra pressure on their brains which may cause trouble in their natural grooming and building up their confidence. Additionally, it may put the children into a state of fomo (fear of missing out) where they may doubt themselves and their skills. This way a child stays nervous and always doubt himself as he is taught from the beginning that he should give his best otherwise he would loose.

In conclusion, there are both pros and cons of the same concept where I believe that there sould be a healthy training of the children where the parents and guardians should motivate them to hard work but they should not pressurize the kids in order to save their mental health and confidence.

AI examiner evaluation

Task Achievement / Task Response — Band 6.0

The response addresses all parts of the prompt, identifying both advantages and disadvantages. The position is clear throughout, and the ideas are relevant. However, the development of these ideas is somewhat limited. For example, the point about 'fomo' is a modern and interesting concept, but it is not fully explored in terms of its long-term psychological impact. The essay would benefit from more specific examples or deeper analysis to move into the higher band descriptors. Overall, the response is well-structured and directly answers the question asked.

Coherence and Cohesion — Band 6.5

The essay is logically organized with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph has a central theme. Cohesive devices such as 'On the one hand', 'Secondly', and 'Additionally' are used effectively to guide the reader. However, the transition between some sentences is slightly mechanical, and the use of referencing could be more varied. Paragraphing is used appropriately, and the progression of ideas is easy to follow throughout the text.

Lexical Resource — Band 5.5

The vocabulary is generally adequate and appropriate for the task. You use some good collocations like 'natural grooming' and 'state of fomo', though 'grooming' is slightly misused here (perhaps 'development' or 'upbringing' would be more accurate). There are some minor errors in word choice, such as 'loose' instead of 'lose'. To reach a higher band, try to incorporate more sophisticated, less common lexical items and ensure precise collocation usage throughout the essay.

Grammatical Range and Accuracy — Band 5.5

You demonstrate a mix of simple and complex sentence structures. While the meaning is always clear, there are several grammatical slips, such as 'there are number of advantages' (missing 'a'), 'if you teach a kid that he can be... he will be looking' (slightly awkward tense usage), and 'there sould be'. These errors do not impede communication, but they occur frequently enough to prevent a higher score. Focusing on subject-verb agreement and article usage will help improve your accuracy.

See this exact question answered at other band scores — the same prompt compared across bands.

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